Girly men?

"Where have all the cowboys gone?"

Ok, it's a terrible song, but it makes a good point. Good men are hard to find these days. Let's clarify what I mean by "good man". I'm talking about a Psalm 112 sort of man. A "gracious, compassionate and righteous man" - Ps. 112:4b. Our society today has such a grossly twisted view of what a real man is, it really makes me sick and frustrated that we as a gender have let it slip this far. It's no surprise to me that there's such a pressing shortage of men worth looking up to. We as a society stopped developing them at least a generation ago.

I'll admit that my perspective of what a real man should be is influenced by our culture and media just the same as yours has been. "Wild at Heart" by Eldridge, along with several other solid offerings by theologically and philosophically sound authors, has profoundly shaped my view of manhood.

Now that 2007 is on its deathbed, its only natural to reflect on the events of the year. My mind is drawn to the areas of personal growth and development that have occurred this year. 2007 has seen me finally step up and solidify some shaky standards and philosophies I've carried around for my young adult life. I'm not by any means saying that I have achieved any semblance of completion on this journey towards biblical manhood (death is the only finish line, by the way...the race never stops). I just know that at least now my perspective is beginning to move where it needs to be. I feel like I understand what it is to be a Psalm 112 and 1 Corinthians 9 kind of man. In the future, I will learn how to practically live out 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 as a husband and father, but that's another tale for another time. Let's get back to the point, sorry...

Where did all the real men go? If you live in America today and buy into what culture and media tell you, the real man looks something like this: A grisly, muscled up man with bear paws for hands, stepping out of a jacked up duelly truck with a chain saw in one hand and a beer in the other. He walks in to his house, kicks off his workboots and sits down to watch football on his big screen. His harem of supermodels appear and surround him, before the game reaches half time he's had sex with all of them.................are we on the same page?

I will never be that guy, you likely won't be either. Does it make me less of a man because I'm a wirey tall guy who drives an SUV and works in telecom sales? Does it make me less of a man because being "manly" or "cool" hasn't been on my to-do list since I was 17? Does it makes me less of a man because I'm not the least bit interested in "pickin' up chicks" or "getting laid" and that I unashamedly tout my devotion (emotional, physical, etc.) to the wife I don't yet have?

NO! It doesn't. Absolutely, totally, completely, 100% NO.

But that is the message that my generation is receiving. That is the pressure that is on them. To add to that problem, the traditional family unit is disappearing as the norm in our society. Good fathers are even harder to come by than good men. No wonder our boys are finding it so difficult to turn out right, no one is showing them how its supposed to be done. No wonder so many women I know complain long and loud that there aren't any guys worth dating. No one is reaching our young men.

What's the point? The point is that we as God's men need to be actively reaching out to those who need us. We need to be shining examples of godly character and integrity. We need to live above reproach so that the world is made to wonder "WHY?" We need to lift each other up and bring our brothers along. If you read the gospels, the disciples didn't cut each other down...sarcastic jabs weren't the norm. The 12 were the original fraternity. I look at their example for how a community of godly men should be interacting. I can think of 2 great references for how we, as men, should be acting towards one another and our sisters in Christ:

Heb. 10:24 : And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.

Prov. 27:17 : As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

I have been the chief of sinners in this area. A lot of thought and prayer has gone into what changes need to be made for 2008. I am far too sarcastic and negative. Most times I don't listen enough. I tend to unintentionally belittle people and be too forceful with my opinions. This has caused a lot of people to dislike me, with just cause. I can easily come across as an arrogant jerk to people who don't know me well...that is just not right. Friendly banter is one thing, but there's a fine line between funny and hurtful. Too many times I cross that line.

Let's strive to become God's definition of a real man: A man who humbly pursues righteousness and excellence in all aspects of his life, while giving his Creator the glory for any and all accomplishments that come his way. Let's be mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong...able to take control but also relinquish it. Let's be firm and decisive, while being attentive to the needs and desires of those around us.

Ask any woman worth pursuing what she wants in her man...I guarantee you'll hear these things (and many others) on her list.

Above all, listen to the One who made you when you're trying to "be a man". This world is broken, listening to its commands is foolhardy at best. Open the Book and read Psalms, Proverbs, Romans, 1 Corinthians, Ephesians, Philippians, 1 Timothy, James and 1 Peter. Every one of those books has great stuff to say about godly manhood.

For the sake of your brothers, the women in your life and the rest of the world...be a man. A real man. God's man. Do it.

Be blessed...