It's been a long day / week / month / year / life. I've been stuck in a philosophical and introspective mood for a few days now, and I had some alone time on the drive home tonight. Naturally, me and God had a good conversation (it's a great way to spend "alone" time). Maybe this post will hit the spot for you.
The topic is identity. The question is: Who are you? The answer says a lot about everything about you. I'm not talking about the world's answer, or even God's answer right now. I'm talking about your answer. Pretend I've never met you before...if you only had about 30 seconds to attempt to give me the essence of "you", what would you say?
Where you draw your identity from and who you draw it from means everything. It's the difference between satisfaction and dissatisfaction in life. It's the difference between trust and stress. It's the difference between significance and insignificance.
Are you a college student? A son? A daughter? An employee at _______ ? Are you a baseball player? Are you a lover...a fighter?
The point I'm trying to make is that the way you see yourself is likely the way you'll live your life. Are you waking up in the morning just trying to make the best of the time or is your life lived for something bigger?
For all my growing up years, I was desperate to do, say, think and be so many things. My identity came, as I imagine many of yours do as well, solely from what other people thought of me. However, this year I've finally come to grips with the big picture. Here it is...
As long as you spend your life trying to do _____ , or accomplish _____ for whatever reason you set out for yourself, you won't be satisfied. Your identity will be tied up in the success or failure of whatever you're putting all your hope into. So many people's self-image is directly tied to their trophy case. Their identity is locked up in temporal, unreliable pieces of life.
You want real freedom? Not the freedom you see in beer commercials...I'm talking about that deep breath, open arms, "God is good" kind of freedom. Find your identity in something solid, something dependable, something eternal. Comes to grips with the person in the mirror and realize that the eyes staring back at you are not your own. They are God's eyes. The hands you see are not your hands. They are God's hands. The feet you're staring down at are not your feet. They are God's feet and they are meant to walk a specific path. The life you live is not your own. It's God's life, meant to be lived for His purposes.
You can either spend your days running from that truth and chase your own rabbits, or you can cling to the One who gave you your fingerprints. You can either waste precious hours and days trying to carve out an identity for yourself, or you can embrace the one sitting there waiting for you. Each one of us has a different purpose, but our identity is the same. Each face is different, but we are all members of one body. Each skill and ability is different, but we are all soldiers in the same army. (Rom. 12:4-8)
----
My name is James. I'm a child and servant of Almighty God. I'm a tool in His hands. I'm an imperfect, weak and broken shadow of the man I'm supposed to be. However, I exist solely for the purpose of bringing Him glory, making Him known and blessing as many lives as possible in the process. I have no idea what the future holds, but I'm submitted to the will of a sovereign and mighty Creator who has all the answers.
That's the essence of James Ballenger Jenkins in one paragraph. That's my identity.
----
Who are you?
27 December 2007
23 December 2007
Girly men?
"Where have all the cowboys gone?"
Ok, it's a terrible song, but it makes a good point. Good men are hard to find these days. Let's clarify what I mean by "good man". I'm talking about a Psalm 112 sort of man. A "gracious, compassionate and righteous man" - Ps. 112:4b. Our society today has such a grossly twisted view of what a real man is, it really makes me sick and frustrated that we as a gender have let it slip this far. It's no surprise to me that there's such a pressing shortage of men worth looking up to. We as a society stopped developing them at least a generation ago.
I'll admit that my perspective of what a real man should be is influenced by our culture and media just the same as yours has been. "Wild at Heart" by Eldridge, along with several other solid offerings by theologically and philosophically sound authors, has profoundly shaped my view of manhood.
Now that 2007 is on its deathbed, its only natural to reflect on the events of the year. My mind is drawn to the areas of personal growth and development that have occurred this year. 2007 has seen me finally step up and solidify some shaky standards and philosophies I've carried around for my young adult life. I'm not by any means saying that I have achieved any semblance of completion on this journey towards biblical manhood (death is the only finish line, by the way...the race never stops). I just know that at least now my perspective is beginning to move where it needs to be. I feel like I understand what it is to be a Psalm 112 and 1 Corinthians 9 kind of man. In the future, I will learn how to practically live out 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 as a husband and father, but that's another tale for another time. Let's get back to the point, sorry...
Where did all the real men go? If you live in America today and buy into what culture and media tell you, the real man looks something like this: A grisly, muscled up man with bear paws for hands, stepping out of a jacked up duelly truck with a chain saw in one hand and a beer in the other. He walks in to his house, kicks off his workboots and sits down to watch football on his big screen. His harem of supermodels appear and surround him, before the game reaches half time he's had sex with all of them.................are we on the same page?
I will never be that guy, you likely won't be either. Does it make me less of a man because I'm a wirey tall guy who drives an SUV and works in telecom sales? Does it make me less of a man because being "manly" or "cool" hasn't been on my to-do list since I was 17? Does it makes me less of a man because I'm not the least bit interested in "pickin' up chicks" or "getting laid" and that I unashamedly tout my devotion (emotional, physical, etc.) to the wife I don't yet have?
NO! It doesn't. Absolutely, totally, completely, 100% NO.
But that is the message that my generation is receiving. That is the pressure that is on them. To add to that problem, the traditional family unit is disappearing as the norm in our society. Good fathers are even harder to come by than good men. No wonder our boys are finding it so difficult to turn out right, no one is showing them how its supposed to be done. No wonder so many women I know complain long and loud that there aren't any guys worth dating. No one is reaching our young men.
What's the point? The point is that we as God's men need to be actively reaching out to those who need us. We need to be shining examples of godly character and integrity. We need to live above reproach so that the world is made to wonder "WHY?" We need to lift each other up and bring our brothers along. If you read the gospels, the disciples didn't cut each other down...sarcastic jabs weren't the norm. The 12 were the original fraternity. I look at their example for how a community of godly men should be interacting. I can think of 2 great references for how we, as men, should be acting towards one another and our sisters in Christ:
Heb. 10:24 : And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Prov. 27:17 : As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
I have been the chief of sinners in this area. A lot of thought and prayer has gone into what changes need to be made for 2008. I am far too sarcastic and negative. Most times I don't listen enough. I tend to unintentionally belittle people and be too forceful with my opinions. This has caused a lot of people to dislike me, with just cause. I can easily come across as an arrogant jerk to people who don't know me well...that is just not right. Friendly banter is one thing, but there's a fine line between funny and hurtful. Too many times I cross that line.
Let's strive to become God's definition of a real man: A man who humbly pursues righteousness and excellence in all aspects of his life, while giving his Creator the glory for any and all accomplishments that come his way. Let's be mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong...able to take control but also relinquish it. Let's be firm and decisive, while being attentive to the needs and desires of those around us.
Ask any woman worth pursuing what she wants in her man...I guarantee you'll hear these things (and many others) on her list.
Above all, listen to the One who made you when you're trying to "be a man". This world is broken, listening to its commands is foolhardy at best. Open the Book and read Psalms, Proverbs, Romans, 1 Corinthians, Ephesians, Philippians, 1 Timothy, James and 1 Peter. Every one of those books has great stuff to say about godly manhood.
For the sake of your brothers, the women in your life and the rest of the world...be a man. A real man. God's man. Do it.
Be blessed...
Ok, it's a terrible song, but it makes a good point. Good men are hard to find these days. Let's clarify what I mean by "good man". I'm talking about a Psalm 112 sort of man. A "gracious, compassionate and righteous man" - Ps. 112:4b. Our society today has such a grossly twisted view of what a real man is, it really makes me sick and frustrated that we as a gender have let it slip this far. It's no surprise to me that there's such a pressing shortage of men worth looking up to. We as a society stopped developing them at least a generation ago.
I'll admit that my perspective of what a real man should be is influenced by our culture and media just the same as yours has been. "Wild at Heart" by Eldridge, along with several other solid offerings by theologically and philosophically sound authors, has profoundly shaped my view of manhood.
Now that 2007 is on its deathbed, its only natural to reflect on the events of the year. My mind is drawn to the areas of personal growth and development that have occurred this year. 2007 has seen me finally step up and solidify some shaky standards and philosophies I've carried around for my young adult life. I'm not by any means saying that I have achieved any semblance of completion on this journey towards biblical manhood (death is the only finish line, by the way...the race never stops). I just know that at least now my perspective is beginning to move where it needs to be. I feel like I understand what it is to be a Psalm 112 and 1 Corinthians 9 kind of man. In the future, I will learn how to practically live out 1 Peter 3 and Ephesians 5 as a husband and father, but that's another tale for another time. Let's get back to the point, sorry...
Where did all the real men go? If you live in America today and buy into what culture and media tell you, the real man looks something like this: A grisly, muscled up man with bear paws for hands, stepping out of a jacked up duelly truck with a chain saw in one hand and a beer in the other. He walks in to his house, kicks off his workboots and sits down to watch football on his big screen. His harem of supermodels appear and surround him, before the game reaches half time he's had sex with all of them.................are we on the same page?
I will never be that guy, you likely won't be either. Does it make me less of a man because I'm a wirey tall guy who drives an SUV and works in telecom sales? Does it make me less of a man because being "manly" or "cool" hasn't been on my to-do list since I was 17? Does it makes me less of a man because I'm not the least bit interested in "pickin' up chicks" or "getting laid" and that I unashamedly tout my devotion (emotional, physical, etc.) to the wife I don't yet have?
NO! It doesn't. Absolutely, totally, completely, 100% NO.
But that is the message that my generation is receiving. That is the pressure that is on them. To add to that problem, the traditional family unit is disappearing as the norm in our society. Good fathers are even harder to come by than good men. No wonder our boys are finding it so difficult to turn out right, no one is showing them how its supposed to be done. No wonder so many women I know complain long and loud that there aren't any guys worth dating. No one is reaching our young men.
What's the point? The point is that we as God's men need to be actively reaching out to those who need us. We need to be shining examples of godly character and integrity. We need to live above reproach so that the world is made to wonder "WHY?" We need to lift each other up and bring our brothers along. If you read the gospels, the disciples didn't cut each other down...sarcastic jabs weren't the norm. The 12 were the original fraternity. I look at their example for how a community of godly men should be interacting. I can think of 2 great references for how we, as men, should be acting towards one another and our sisters in Christ:
Heb. 10:24 : And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds.
Prov. 27:17 : As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
I have been the chief of sinners in this area. A lot of thought and prayer has gone into what changes need to be made for 2008. I am far too sarcastic and negative. Most times I don't listen enough. I tend to unintentionally belittle people and be too forceful with my opinions. This has caused a lot of people to dislike me, with just cause. I can easily come across as an arrogant jerk to people who don't know me well...that is just not right. Friendly banter is one thing, but there's a fine line between funny and hurtful. Too many times I cross that line.
Let's strive to become God's definition of a real man: A man who humbly pursues righteousness and excellence in all aspects of his life, while giving his Creator the glory for any and all accomplishments that come his way. Let's be mentally, emotionally and spiritually strong...able to take control but also relinquish it. Let's be firm and decisive, while being attentive to the needs and desires of those around us.
Ask any woman worth pursuing what she wants in her man...I guarantee you'll hear these things (and many others) on her list.
Above all, listen to the One who made you when you're trying to "be a man". This world is broken, listening to its commands is foolhardy at best. Open the Book and read Psalms, Proverbs, Romans, 1 Corinthians, Ephesians, Philippians, 1 Timothy, James and 1 Peter. Every one of those books has great stuff to say about godly manhood.
For the sake of your brothers, the women in your life and the rest of the world...be a man. A real man. God's man. Do it.
Be blessed...
18 December 2007
Always at night, it seems...
It's cold. The kind of dry, stiff, gripping cold that runs down your throat and up your nose to steal any semblance of warmth. It's a clear sky, finally.
I'm looking at a star, part of the big dipper, I think. The light now reaching my eyes began its journey from that star before my grandparents were born. Big universe.
If you ever start to think you're a big deal, just go outside and look at the stars for about 30 seconds. That should cure your problem.
Over the years, almost everything has changed from when I was a little boy, laying on the concrete looking up at the stars and dreaming. Life has come and gone. Years of growth, mistakes, learning, experience, maturation and revelation have come to pass. People have arrived, played their part and left the stage of my life. The world has gotten immensely smaller since those wonderfully simple years when life was swing sets and sippy-cups.
The thing is, those stars are still exactly where they were when that little boy looked up at the night sky filled with wonder and amazement. The God who placed each of those stars in their appointed locations still sits on His throne exactly where He's been since before.
I didn't specify before what, exactly. That wasn't an oversight, you see. The Star-maker didn't appear at a certain time...He simply is. There was no beginning to His almighty reign. Of course, there won't be an end either. He simply exists. For all the intelligence I've seemingly been blessed with, I still can't even begin to wrap my over-sized cranium around that truth.
All the hustle and bustle this world tries so desperately to fill our lives with is temporal. Some day, ten million years from now, none of this present struggle will be on anyone's mind. My generation spends a nearly infinite amount of energy, time and resources trying to figure out how their life is going to be. Sadly, an equally, infinitely small amount of energy, time and resources is spent figuring out our eternal existence.
My friends, it all goes back to significance. As I sit here tonight, I'm stuck yet again with an overwhelming, crushing urge to be significant...eternally significant. I want to think, say and do things that will have people talking in Heaven someday. I recently told someone that "life is in the details", that it's the small, mundane things that matter. So true!
Go look at the stars. Ponder the weight of how small you are. Put things back into perspective. You were bought with a price, created for a purpose. Are you living out that purpose right now? If not, are you at least seeking God and growing in Him? If you don't know this God that I'm talking about, if you don't know His Son Jesus...do you want to?
Don't let anything or anyone keep you from where you're supposed to be. In life, in love, in all. Seek God, set the goal and then GO.
Seek God, set the goal and GO.
I'm looking at a star, part of the big dipper, I think. The light now reaching my eyes began its journey from that star before my grandparents were born. Big universe.
If you ever start to think you're a big deal, just go outside and look at the stars for about 30 seconds. That should cure your problem.
Over the years, almost everything has changed from when I was a little boy, laying on the concrete looking up at the stars and dreaming. Life has come and gone. Years of growth, mistakes, learning, experience, maturation and revelation have come to pass. People have arrived, played their part and left the stage of my life. The world has gotten immensely smaller since those wonderfully simple years when life was swing sets and sippy-cups.
The thing is, those stars are still exactly where they were when that little boy looked up at the night sky filled with wonder and amazement. The God who placed each of those stars in their appointed locations still sits on His throne exactly where He's been since before.
I didn't specify before what, exactly. That wasn't an oversight, you see. The Star-maker didn't appear at a certain time...He simply is. There was no beginning to His almighty reign. Of course, there won't be an end either. He simply exists. For all the intelligence I've seemingly been blessed with, I still can't even begin to wrap my over-sized cranium around that truth.
All the hustle and bustle this world tries so desperately to fill our lives with is temporal. Some day, ten million years from now, none of this present struggle will be on anyone's mind. My generation spends a nearly infinite amount of energy, time and resources trying to figure out how their life is going to be. Sadly, an equally, infinitely small amount of energy, time and resources is spent figuring out our eternal existence.
My friends, it all goes back to significance. As I sit here tonight, I'm stuck yet again with an overwhelming, crushing urge to be significant...eternally significant. I want to think, say and do things that will have people talking in Heaven someday. I recently told someone that "life is in the details", that it's the small, mundane things that matter. So true!
Go look at the stars. Ponder the weight of how small you are. Put things back into perspective. You were bought with a price, created for a purpose. Are you living out that purpose right now? If not, are you at least seeking God and growing in Him? If you don't know this God that I'm talking about, if you don't know His Son Jesus...do you want to?
Don't let anything or anyone keep you from where you're supposed to be. In life, in love, in all. Seek God, set the goal and then GO.
Seek God, set the goal and GO.
17 December 2007
...And the Truth Shall Set You Free
Have you ever had something that you wanted to tell someone, but you knew that you couldn't? Have you ever carried around something inside the confines of your mind that desperately wanted to escape from your mouth? I've spent the last 261 days in one of those situations...and needless to say, it's been anything but fun.
Last night, when I should have been driving home, I spent 2 hours talking to someone who is extremely important to me. We had the usual chit chat, the "how's life" talk, playful banter, etc. There was a silence in conversation and she took the opportunity to say what I could tell she'd been needing to say for a long time. The details of our conversation aren't for the world to hear...the point is that her words forced my hand. It was a "do or die" moment in my relationship with this lady sitting across from me. So I did. I threw my cards on the table, figuratively speaking ,of course, and told her everything from day one. The total story of my thoughts, reactions, conversations with God, the real reason that I started writing this blog, my plans for the future, my interpretation of God's will for her and I...everything.
I was absolutely terrified in the middle of our talk. But as soon as the words were done leaving my mouth, I could almost literally feel weight coming off my shoulders. All that had been carried around in my head was free now. Last night was the most alive I've felt in ages. That was the heaviest conversation I've ever had with that special person, and possibly the most important conversation I've ever had, with anyone.
My friends, the reason I write this blog today is to share the relief I feel now. The words we shared last night should have come out months ago. For whatever reason, they were bottled up inside. I want to urge you to not let important things go unsaid with the people in your life. Don't let fear or anything else keep you from experiencing the relief that I feel right now. Be vulnerable, be real.
I threw myself completely out on the line last night. I stuck my neck out and put all the cards on the table. It was terrifying. That special person could have easily chopped my proverbial head off. She didn't.
Talk to the important people in your life. Tell them how you really feel.
John 8:32 - "You shall know the truth...and the truth shall set you free."
Last night, when I should have been driving home, I spent 2 hours talking to someone who is extremely important to me. We had the usual chit chat, the "how's life" talk, playful banter, etc. There was a silence in conversation and she took the opportunity to say what I could tell she'd been needing to say for a long time. The details of our conversation aren't for the world to hear...the point is that her words forced my hand. It was a "do or die" moment in my relationship with this lady sitting across from me. So I did. I threw my cards on the table, figuratively speaking ,of course, and told her everything from day one. The total story of my thoughts, reactions, conversations with God, the real reason that I started writing this blog, my plans for the future, my interpretation of God's will for her and I...everything.
I was absolutely terrified in the middle of our talk. But as soon as the words were done leaving my mouth, I could almost literally feel weight coming off my shoulders. All that had been carried around in my head was free now. Last night was the most alive I've felt in ages. That was the heaviest conversation I've ever had with that special person, and possibly the most important conversation I've ever had, with anyone.
My friends, the reason I write this blog today is to share the relief I feel now. The words we shared last night should have come out months ago. For whatever reason, they were bottled up inside. I want to urge you to not let important things go unsaid with the people in your life. Don't let fear or anything else keep you from experiencing the relief that I feel right now. Be vulnerable, be real.
I threw myself completely out on the line last night. I stuck my neck out and put all the cards on the table. It was terrifying. That special person could have easily chopped my proverbial head off. She didn't.
Talk to the important people in your life. Tell them how you really feel.
John 8:32 - "You shall know the truth...and the truth shall set you free."
11 December 2007
Poetic Expression: Round 5
I recently spent about 46 hours awake, for a variety of reasons. It changes your perspective when you're awake for more than one complete cycle of the Earth's activity. Life seems to become a little smaller, easier to wrap your head around. So, of course, I'm inspired to write...
46 hours worth of lessons
Day becomes night and
Night becomes day
To watch it, the mystery passes away
The veil is now lifted,
The curtains now split
This world doesn't seem to be such a good fit
With my eyes open wide
and my heart on my sleeve
Now it feels like I'm standing here waiting to leave
When the bigness of life
Has become something small
I open the book, and there's one name to call
Our King is still sitting there
High on His throne
He gives the only peace I've ever known
So to all who are out there
With worry and fright
Just remember that God is still God tonight
Day becomes night and
Night becomes day
To watch it, the mystery passes away
The veil is now lifted,
The curtains now split
This world doesn't seem to be such a good fit
With my eyes open wide
and my heart on my sleeve
Now it feels like I'm standing here waiting to leave
When the bigness of life
Has become something small
I open the book, and there's one name to call
Our King is still sitting there
High on His throne
He gives the only peace I've ever known
So to all who are out there
With worry and fright
Just remember that God is still God tonight
06 December 2007
Maybe it's not a good thing...
For a long time I have referred to myself as "stubborn". People think of me as a stubborn and hard-headed individual. In actuality, I have always thought of this as a good thing. Until now.
There's a difference between being firm in your convictions, beliefs and philospohies, and being stubbornly closed-minded and unwilling to listen to other opinions. The former is the mark of a mature adult who is ready to battle the world's unrelenting pressure to conform to perceived societal norms. The latter is the mark of an ignorant, closed-minded, arrogant, egomaniacal jerk.
Proverbs is full of advice for us to be open to correction and discipline. I have been violating Biblical standards of excellence, and worse, I've been taking pleasure in it.
From this point on, I will be making a concerted effort to be open to other opinions and ideas. If your toes have been stepped on in my learning process, I offer my sincerest apologies. In recent times, I have not been nearly as kind as I could or should have been.
Thanks for allowing me room to continue to grow into the man God created me to be. I'm far from perfect, but rest assured I am striving daily to get there.
Be blessed...
There's a difference between being firm in your convictions, beliefs and philospohies, and being stubbornly closed-minded and unwilling to listen to other opinions. The former is the mark of a mature adult who is ready to battle the world's unrelenting pressure to conform to perceived societal norms. The latter is the mark of an ignorant, closed-minded, arrogant, egomaniacal jerk.
Proverbs is full of advice for us to be open to correction and discipline. I have been violating Biblical standards of excellence, and worse, I've been taking pleasure in it.
From this point on, I will be making a concerted effort to be open to other opinions and ideas. If your toes have been stepped on in my learning process, I offer my sincerest apologies. In recent times, I have not been nearly as kind as I could or should have been.
Thanks for allowing me room to continue to grow into the man God created me to be. I'm far from perfect, but rest assured I am striving daily to get there.
Be blessed...
03 December 2007
Worth Repeating
Black as black comes
Stars extend beyond imagination's boundaries
Crispy chills surround an introspective soul
Night, so sweet a sanctuary
So delicate a silence
Life, threatening the balance
Intimidating the peace
Bestowed from on High
Though miles to go before I sleep
Yet here and now I dare not weep
For past is past and now is here
The quiet voice is drawing near
Now as I gaze upon the sky
My heart, tempted to wonder why
Gives sweet embrace to Coming King
And joyfully His praises ring
As I relinquish all my days
with bended knee and hands I raise
Submission of my own desire
And step again into the fire
------
Be blessed...
Stars extend beyond imagination's boundaries
Crispy chills surround an introspective soul
Night, so sweet a sanctuary
So delicate a silence
Life, threatening the balance
Intimidating the peace
Bestowed from on High
Though miles to go before I sleep
Yet here and now I dare not weep
For past is past and now is here
The quiet voice is drawing near
Now as I gaze upon the sky
My heart, tempted to wonder why
Gives sweet embrace to Coming King
And joyfully His praises ring
As I relinquish all my days
with bended knee and hands I raise
Submission of my own desire
And step again into the fire
------
Be blessed...
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