This is one of those posts where I'm very likely to step on some toes. I'm aware of that and please remember that this blog is a log of my opinions, and that I do not see them as fact. In reality, I'm not sure if there is a definitively right or wrong solution to the issue I will address today.
The topic today is men VS women. I'm talking about gender roles and identities, not celebrity deathmatch. Our society has so completely messed up the traditional gender characteristics that they aren't even clearly visible anymore. So much history and fervent emotion is tied up in this issue that it is difficult have any kind of objective discourse. That's why I'm sitting here typing instead of standing in front of a podium somewhere. I'll try to keep the rambling to a minimum.
For this post, I draw several ideas from "Wild at Heart" by John Eldridge and "Captivating" by John and Stasi Eldridge.
I think the best place to start on the whole "man VS woman" thing is in the beginning. The locale is Eden, circa 10,000 B.C. (give or take a millenia). Tree, snake, fruit, sin, death, eternal damnation...we've all heard the story. The important part for this topic is found in Gen. 3:16 -"Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Another translation puts it, "You'll want to please your husband, but he'll lord it over you." Now this blog's main audience are my fellow believers, so I'm not going to attempt to discuss the authenticity of the Bible here. Having said that, the Bible has very specific characteristics that both men and women are supposed to exhibit. Both the Old and the New Testament have passages describing righteous and Godly men and women (Psalm 112 is a great one for the guys; Proverbs 31 is the most famous for the ladies).
The point here is that women and men are like apples and oranges. They are similar in some ways, but mostly different. Both exhibit qualities that label them as human, but men and women couldn't be more different at a core level.
God made humanity in His image. Men and women both personify different aspects of the personality of God Almighty, (I'm not going to open that can of worms right now, another post will contain that topic.)
Our society has lost its mind. Women are trying to assume the roles and personality qualities of men. Men are turning their back on traditional masculine values. They aren't committing to their God-given roles of husband and father. They are not leading, discipling, mentoring, setting the standard of excellence and integrity for others (women, children and other men) to follow. I think the men can also be blamed for the women taking on much more than their God-given duties. When a man refuses to step up, refuses to play his part, a woman is left with little choice.
Call me old fashioned, but I believe wholeheartedly that a woman shouldn't have to work. First off, let me clarify that all these opinions and arguments are set in "ideal conditions", I fully understand that sometimes "ideal" isn't possible for whatever reason. A woman with lofty career aspirations isn't a bad thing, actually it's extremely attractive to me. However, I don't think she should be setting those types of goals out of necessity. In my humble opinion (IMHO), it's only a woman's job to provide for herself during that (hopefully) brief period between when she becomes completely independent from her parents and when she says "I do" to some lucky man. At that moment, it becomes the man's responsibility to provide for his wife's physical needs. Whatever the wife does should be done to fulfill God's will for her career accomplishments and ministry. She should be free to pursue the opportunities and desires God has placed in her heart, not be concerned with putting food on the table.
The world is full of women who are trying to be men. They may look like women, but they act, speak, think and work like men. They have bought into the lie that traditionally female gender roles are somehow bad or archaic or out-dated. The Bible refers to Eve as Adam's "helpmate" - Gen. 2. Eve is not mandated with doing Adam's job for him, but helping him.
Adam, in turn, is commanded to provide for his family (by farming at that time). Men are supposed to provide, protect, nurture, defend, disciple, mentor and love their family (I have a huge passion to be an amazing husband and father. It's one of the pounding desires of my heart. My wife and children will never be able to doubt my love, devotion and their place in my life.)
I can't write enough words to fully capture the depth of my desire to love my wife with biblical quality and to raise strong, confident, God-fearing children. Surely, God will have plenty of other tasks for me to undertake, thousands of people to bless with my medical ministry, countless others to minister to through speaking or writing, etc. However, my primary ministry will always be to my wife and children.
I have so many thoughts on this subject that I don't want to contain them all in one post. I will definitely be posting about other aspects of this whole gender role and identity topic. I find the whole thing as being integral to better understanding how we can affect real change in our world.
Points to Ponder:
Ladies: You need to embrace your God-given feminine qualities. They are not weaknesses, they are part of who God made you to be. Don't buy into the lie our society tries to feed you that you have to do everything yourself. Trust God, rest in Him, but also trust the men in your life. Allow them to be men. You play an important part in developing and validating authentic, Godly manhood.
Men: Step up and BE MEN! We are called to lead in character, excellence and integrity. We are currently dropping the ball as a gender. We are not treating ladies as ladies. We are not accepting the responsibility God has placed on us to be leaders in our circle of friends, organizations, ministries and churches. We desperately need to improve. Get in the Word, be on your knees, get tight with God and help those around you get there as well. It is the primary reason for our existence.
Be blessed...
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