7 Days x 24 Hours = 168 total hours in a week.
How do you spend your time?
1 Cor. 7:29 - "What I mean, brothers, is that time is short..."
Part of being disciplined is knowing where your time goes. I challenge you to account for your time this week. You will most likely find several areas you can put to better use (be more effecient or effective in your tasks, be more intentional in ministry, give God more time, etc.).
I can't very well challenge you to do something if I'm not willing to do it myself...so here's how my last week was spent:
Sleeping - 46hrs
In class/lab - 26hrs
At work - 24hrs
Studying - 16hrs
Doing BYX stuff - 11hrs
Working out/basketball - 8hrs
Orientation at hospital - 8hrs
At Church/GE - 7hrs
Prayer/Bible - 7hrs
Eating - 7hrs
Playing Halo3/chillaxin' - 4hrs
Writing blogs - 2hrs
Facebook/AIM - 2hrs
It would be easy to look at this and get discouraged at the lack of time spent on "important" stuff like church, God time, etc. However, every single activity or responsibility of your week is an opportunity to be intentional with your life and your ministry. Make the most of the hours you're given (the average person only gets 648,240 of them.) Live your life on a mission.
Be blessed...
08 October 2007
06 October 2007
Boundless Article: Subversive Virginity
I found this article on Boundless.org. It's a refreshing change in perspective from the twisted, self-destructive message our culture drowns us in. Enjoy!
--------------------------
kay, I’ll admit it: I am twenty-two years old and still a virgin. Not for lack of opportunity, my vanity hastens to add. Had I ever felt unduly burdened by my unfashionable innocence, I could have found someone to attend to the problem. But I never did.
Our mainstream culture tells me that some oppressive force must be the cause of my late-in-life virginity, maybe an inordinate fear of men or God or getting caught. Perhaps it’s right, since I can pinpoint a number of influences that have persuaded me to remain a virgin. My mother taught me that self-respect requires self-control, and my father taught me to demand the same from men. I’m enough of a country bumpkin to suspect that contraceptives might not be enough to prevent an unwanted pregnancy or disease, and I think that abortion is killing a baby. I buy into all that Christian doctrine of law and promise, which means that the stuffy old commandments are still binding on my conscience. And I’m even naive enough to believe in permanent, exclusive, divinely ordained love between a man and a woman, a love so valuable that it motivates me to keep my legs tightly crossed in the most tempting of situations.
Defining Sexuality DownIn spite of all this, I still think of myself as something of a feminist, since virginity has the result of creating respect for and upholding the value of the woman so inclined. But I have discovered that the reigning feminism of today has little use for it. There was a time when I was foolish enough to look for literature among women’s publications that might offer support in my very personal decision. (It’s all about choice, after all, isn’t it?) The dearth of information on virginity might lead one to believe that it’s a taboo subject. However, I was fortunate enough to discover a short article on it in that revered tome of feminism, Our Bodies, Ourselves.
The most recent edition of the book has a more positive attitude than the edition before it, in that it acknowledges virginity as a legitimate choice and not just a by-product of patriarchy. Still, in less than a page, it presumes to cover the whole range of emotion and experience involved in virginity, which, it seems, consists simply in the notion that a woman should wait until she’s really ready to express her sexuality. That’s all there is to say about it. Apparently, sexual expression takes place only in and after the act of genital intercourse. Anything subtler — like a feminine love of cooking or tendency to cry at the movies or unsuppressable maternal instinct or cultivation of a wardrobe that will turn heads or even a passionate good-night kiss — is deemed an inadequate demonstration of sexual identity. The unspoken message of Our Bodies, Ourselves is clear enough: as long as a woman is a virgin, she remains completely asexual.
Surprisingly, this attitude has infiltrated the thinking of many women my age, who should still be new enough in the web of lies called adulthood to know better. One of my most vivid college memories is of a conversation with a good friend about my (to her) bizarre aberration of virginity. She and another pal had been delving into the gruesome specifics of their past sexual encounters. Finally, after some time, my friend suddenly exclaimed to me, “How do you do it?”
A little taken aback, I said, “Do what?”
“You know,” she answered, a little reluctant, perhaps, to use the big bad V-word. “You still haven’t ... slept with anybody. How do you do it? Don’t you want to?”
The question intrigued me, because it was so utterly beside the point. Of course I want to — what a strange question! — but mere wanting is hardly a proper guide for moral conduct. I assured my concerned friend that my libido was still in proper working order, but then I had to come up with a good reason why I had been paying attention to my inhibitions for all these years. I offered the usual reasons — emotional and physical health, religious convictions, “saving myself” till marriage — but nothing convinced her until I said, “I guess I don’t know what I’m missing.” She was satisfied with that and ended the conversation.
In one sense, sure, I don’t know what I’m missing. And it is common enough among those who do know what they’re missing to go to great lengths to insure that they don’t miss it for very long. In another sense, though, I could list a lot of things that I do know I’m missing: hurt, betrayal, anxiety, self-deception, fear, suspicion, anger, confusion and the horror of having been used. And those are only emotional aspects; there is also disease, unwanted pregnancy and abortion. As if to prove my case from the other side, my friend suffered a traumatic betrayal within a month or two of our conversation. It turned out that the man involved would gladly sleep with her, but refused to have a “real relationship” — a sad reality she discovered only after the fact.
The Power to ChooseAccording to received feminist wisdom, sexuality is to be understood through the twin concepts of power and choice. It’s not a matter of anything so banally biological as producing children, or even the more elevated notion of creating intimacy and trust. Sometimes it seems like sex isn’t even supposed to be fun. The purpose of female sexuality is to assert power over hapless men, for control, revenge, self-centered pleasure or forcing a commitment. A woman who declines to express herself in sexual activity, then, has fallen prey to a male-dominated society that wishes to prevent women from becoming powerful. By contrast, it is said, a woman who does become sexually active discovers her power over men and exercises it, supposedly to her personal enhancement.
This is an absurd lie. That kind of gender-war sexuality results only in pyrrhic victories. It’s a set-up for disaster, especially for women. Men aren’t the ones who get pregnant. And who ever heard of a man purchasing a glossy magazine to learn the secret of snagging a wife? Sacrifice and the relinquishing of power are natural to women — ask any mom — and they are also the secret of feminine appeal. The pretense that aggression and power-mongering are the only options for female sexual success has opened the door to predatory men. The imbalance of power becomes greater than ever in a culture of easy access.
Against this system of mutual exploitation stands the more compelling alternative of virginity. It escapes the ruthless cycle of winning and losing because it refuses to play the game. The promiscuous of both sexes will take their cheap shots at one another, disguising infidelity and selfishness as freedom and independence, and blaming the aftermath on one another. But no one can claim control over a virgin. Virginity is not a matter of asserting power in order to manipulate. It is a refusal to exploit or be exploited. That is real, and responsible, power.
But there is more to it than mere escape. There is an undeniable appeal in virginity, something that eludes the resentful feminist’s contemptuous label of “prude.” A virgin woman is an unattainable object of desire, and it is precisely her unattainability that increases her desirability. Feminism has told a lie in defense of its own promiscuity, namely, that there is no sexual power to be found in virginity. On the contrary, virgin sexuality has extraordinary and unusual power. There’s no second-guessing a virgin’s motives: her strength comes from a source beyond her transitory whims. It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children and to God. Her virginity is, at the same time, a statement of her mature independence from men. It allows a woman to become a whole person in her own right, without needing a man either to revolt against or to complete what she lacks. It is very simple, really: no matter how wonderful, charming, handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, rich or persuasive he is, he simply cannot have her. A virgin is perfectly unpossessable.
Of course, there have been some women who have attempted to claim this independence from men by turning in on themselves and opting for lesbian sexuality instead. But this is just another, perhaps deeper, rejection of their femaleness. The sexes rightly define themselves in their otherness. Lesbianism squelches the design of otherness by drowning womanhood in a sea of sameness, and in the process loses any concept of what makes the female feminine. Virginity upholds simply and honestly that which is valuable in and unique to women.
The corollary of power is choice. Again, the feminist assumes that sexually powerful women will be able to choose their own fates. And again, it is a lie. No one can engage in extramarital sex and then control it. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the moral nightmare of our society’s breakdown since the sexual revolution. Some time ago I saw on TV the introduction of the groundbreaking new “female condom.” A spokeswoman at a press conference celebrating its grand opening declared joyously the new freedom that it gave to women. “Now women have more bargaining power,” she said. “If a man says that he refuses to wear a condom, the woman can counter, fine, I will!” I was dumbstruck by her enthusiasm for the dynamics of the new situation. Why on earth would two people harboring so much animosity towards each other contemplate a sexual encounter? What an appealing choice they have been given the freedom to make!
The dark reality, of course, is that it is not free choice at all when women must convince men to love them and must convince themselves that they are more than just “used goods.” There are so many young women I have known for whom freely chosen sexual activity means a brief moment of pleasure — if that — followed by the unchosen side effects of paralyzing uncertainty, anger at the man involved, and finally a deep self-hatred that is impenetrable by feminist analysis. So-called sexual freedom is really just proclaiming oneself to be available for free, and therefore without value. To “choose” such freedom is tantamount to saying that one is worth nothing.
Admittedly, there are some who say that sex isn’t anything nearly so serious or important, but just another recreational activity not substantially different from ping-pong. I don’t believe it for a second. I learned most meaningfully from another woman the destructive force of sexuality out of control when I myself was under considerable pressure to cave in to a man’s sexual demands. I discussed the prospect with this friend, and after some time she finally said to me, “Don’t do it. So far in life you’ve made all the right choices and I’ve made all the wrong ones. I care enough about you that I don’t want to see you end up like me.” Naturally, that made up my mind. Sex does matter; it matters a lot; and I can only hope that those who deny it will wake up to their error before they damage themselves even more.
It is appalling that feminism has propagated lies so destructive to women. It has created the illusion that there is no room for self-discovery outside of sexual behavior. Not only is this a grotesque lie, but it is also an utterly boring one. Aside from its implied dismissal of all the world’s many riches outside the sexual domain, this false concept has placed stultifying limitations on the range of human relationships. We’re told that friendships between men and women are just a cover until they leap into the sack together. While romance is a natural and a commendable expression of love between women and men, it is simply not the only option. And in our sexually competitive climate, even romantic love barely deserves the title. Virginity among those seeking marital love would go far to improve the latter’s solidity and permanence, creating an atmosphere of honesty and discovery before the equally necessary and longed-for consummation. Where feminism sees freedom from men by placing body parts at their disposal in a bizarre game of self-deception, virginity recognizes the equally vulnerable though often overlooked state of men’s own hearts and seeks a way to love them for real.
It is puzzling and disturbing to me that regnant feminism has never acknowledged the empowering value of virginity. I tend to think that much of the feminist agenda is more invested in the culture of groundless autonomy and sexual Darwinism than it is in genuinely uplifting women. Of course, virginity is a battle against sexual temptation, and popular culture always opts for the easy way out instead of the character-building struggle. The result is superficial women formed by meaningless choices, worthy of stereotype, rather than laudable women of character, worthy of respect.
Preparing for Love:
Perhaps virginity seems a bit cold, even haughty and heartless. But virginity hardly has exclusive claim on those defects, if it has any claim at all. Promiscuity offers a significantly worse fate. I have a very dear friend who, sadly, is more wordly-wise than I am. By libertine feminist standards she ought to be proud of her conquests and ready for more, but frequently she isn’t. The most telling insight about the shambles of her heart came to me once in a phone conversation when we were speculating about our futures. Generally they are filled with exotic travel and adventure and Ph.D.s. This time, however, they were not. She admitted to me that what she really wanted was to be living on a farm in rural Connecticut, raising a horde of children and embroidering tea towels. It is a lovely dream, defiantly unambitious and domestic. But her short, failed sexual relationships haven’t taken her any closer to her dream and have left her little hope that she’ll ever attain it. I must be honest here: virginity hasn’t landed me on a farm in rural Connecticut, either. Sexual innocence is not a guarantee against heartbreak. But there is a crucial difference: I haven’t lost a part of myself to someone who has subsequently spurned it, rejected it, and perhaps never cared for it at all.
I sincerely hope that virginity will not be a lifetime project for me. Quite the contrary, my subversive commitment to virginity serves as preparation for another commitment, for loving one man completely and exclusively. Admittedly, there is a minor frustration in my love: I haven’t met the man yet (at least, not to my knowledge). But hope, which does not disappoint, sustains me.
--------------------------
kay, I’ll admit it: I am twenty-two years old and still a virgin. Not for lack of opportunity, my vanity hastens to add. Had I ever felt unduly burdened by my unfashionable innocence, I could have found someone to attend to the problem. But I never did.
Our mainstream culture tells me that some oppressive force must be the cause of my late-in-life virginity, maybe an inordinate fear of men or God or getting caught. Perhaps it’s right, since I can pinpoint a number of influences that have persuaded me to remain a virgin. My mother taught me that self-respect requires self-control, and my father taught me to demand the same from men. I’m enough of a country bumpkin to suspect that contraceptives might not be enough to prevent an unwanted pregnancy or disease, and I think that abortion is killing a baby. I buy into all that Christian doctrine of law and promise, which means that the stuffy old commandments are still binding on my conscience. And I’m even naive enough to believe in permanent, exclusive, divinely ordained love between a man and a woman, a love so valuable that it motivates me to keep my legs tightly crossed in the most tempting of situations.
Defining Sexuality DownIn spite of all this, I still think of myself as something of a feminist, since virginity has the result of creating respect for and upholding the value of the woman so inclined. But I have discovered that the reigning feminism of today has little use for it. There was a time when I was foolish enough to look for literature among women’s publications that might offer support in my very personal decision. (It’s all about choice, after all, isn’t it?) The dearth of information on virginity might lead one to believe that it’s a taboo subject. However, I was fortunate enough to discover a short article on it in that revered tome of feminism, Our Bodies, Ourselves.
The most recent edition of the book has a more positive attitude than the edition before it, in that it acknowledges virginity as a legitimate choice and not just a by-product of patriarchy. Still, in less than a page, it presumes to cover the whole range of emotion and experience involved in virginity, which, it seems, consists simply in the notion that a woman should wait until she’s really ready to express her sexuality. That’s all there is to say about it. Apparently, sexual expression takes place only in and after the act of genital intercourse. Anything subtler — like a feminine love of cooking or tendency to cry at the movies or unsuppressable maternal instinct or cultivation of a wardrobe that will turn heads or even a passionate good-night kiss — is deemed an inadequate demonstration of sexual identity. The unspoken message of Our Bodies, Ourselves is clear enough: as long as a woman is a virgin, she remains completely asexual.
Surprisingly, this attitude has infiltrated the thinking of many women my age, who should still be new enough in the web of lies called adulthood to know better. One of my most vivid college memories is of a conversation with a good friend about my (to her) bizarre aberration of virginity. She and another pal had been delving into the gruesome specifics of their past sexual encounters. Finally, after some time, my friend suddenly exclaimed to me, “How do you do it?”
A little taken aback, I said, “Do what?”
“You know,” she answered, a little reluctant, perhaps, to use the big bad V-word. “You still haven’t ... slept with anybody. How do you do it? Don’t you want to?”
The question intrigued me, because it was so utterly beside the point. Of course I want to — what a strange question! — but mere wanting is hardly a proper guide for moral conduct. I assured my concerned friend that my libido was still in proper working order, but then I had to come up with a good reason why I had been paying attention to my inhibitions for all these years. I offered the usual reasons — emotional and physical health, religious convictions, “saving myself” till marriage — but nothing convinced her until I said, “I guess I don’t know what I’m missing.” She was satisfied with that and ended the conversation.
In one sense, sure, I don’t know what I’m missing. And it is common enough among those who do know what they’re missing to go to great lengths to insure that they don’t miss it for very long. In another sense, though, I could list a lot of things that I do know I’m missing: hurt, betrayal, anxiety, self-deception, fear, suspicion, anger, confusion and the horror of having been used. And those are only emotional aspects; there is also disease, unwanted pregnancy and abortion. As if to prove my case from the other side, my friend suffered a traumatic betrayal within a month or two of our conversation. It turned out that the man involved would gladly sleep with her, but refused to have a “real relationship” — a sad reality she discovered only after the fact.
The Power to ChooseAccording to received feminist wisdom, sexuality is to be understood through the twin concepts of power and choice. It’s not a matter of anything so banally biological as producing children, or even the more elevated notion of creating intimacy and trust. Sometimes it seems like sex isn’t even supposed to be fun. The purpose of female sexuality is to assert power over hapless men, for control, revenge, self-centered pleasure or forcing a commitment. A woman who declines to express herself in sexual activity, then, has fallen prey to a male-dominated society that wishes to prevent women from becoming powerful. By contrast, it is said, a woman who does become sexually active discovers her power over men and exercises it, supposedly to her personal enhancement.
This is an absurd lie. That kind of gender-war sexuality results only in pyrrhic victories. It’s a set-up for disaster, especially for women. Men aren’t the ones who get pregnant. And who ever heard of a man purchasing a glossy magazine to learn the secret of snagging a wife? Sacrifice and the relinquishing of power are natural to women — ask any mom — and they are also the secret of feminine appeal. The pretense that aggression and power-mongering are the only options for female sexual success has opened the door to predatory men. The imbalance of power becomes greater than ever in a culture of easy access.
Against this system of mutual exploitation stands the more compelling alternative of virginity. It escapes the ruthless cycle of winning and losing because it refuses to play the game. The promiscuous of both sexes will take their cheap shots at one another, disguising infidelity and selfishness as freedom and independence, and blaming the aftermath on one another. But no one can claim control over a virgin. Virginity is not a matter of asserting power in order to manipulate. It is a refusal to exploit or be exploited. That is real, and responsible, power.
But there is more to it than mere escape. There is an undeniable appeal in virginity, something that eludes the resentful feminist’s contemptuous label of “prude.” A virgin woman is an unattainable object of desire, and it is precisely her unattainability that increases her desirability. Feminism has told a lie in defense of its own promiscuity, namely, that there is no sexual power to be found in virginity. On the contrary, virgin sexuality has extraordinary and unusual power. There’s no second-guessing a virgin’s motives: her strength comes from a source beyond her transitory whims. It is sexuality dedicated to hope, to the future, to marital love, to children and to God. Her virginity is, at the same time, a statement of her mature independence from men. It allows a woman to become a whole person in her own right, without needing a man either to revolt against or to complete what she lacks. It is very simple, really: no matter how wonderful, charming, handsome, intelligent, thoughtful, rich or persuasive he is, he simply cannot have her. A virgin is perfectly unpossessable.
Of course, there have been some women who have attempted to claim this independence from men by turning in on themselves and opting for lesbian sexuality instead. But this is just another, perhaps deeper, rejection of their femaleness. The sexes rightly define themselves in their otherness. Lesbianism squelches the design of otherness by drowning womanhood in a sea of sameness, and in the process loses any concept of what makes the female feminine. Virginity upholds simply and honestly that which is valuable in and unique to women.
The corollary of power is choice. Again, the feminist assumes that sexually powerful women will be able to choose their own fates. And again, it is a lie. No one can engage in extramarital sex and then control it. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the moral nightmare of our society’s breakdown since the sexual revolution. Some time ago I saw on TV the introduction of the groundbreaking new “female condom.” A spokeswoman at a press conference celebrating its grand opening declared joyously the new freedom that it gave to women. “Now women have more bargaining power,” she said. “If a man says that he refuses to wear a condom, the woman can counter, fine, I will!” I was dumbstruck by her enthusiasm for the dynamics of the new situation. Why on earth would two people harboring so much animosity towards each other contemplate a sexual encounter? What an appealing choice they have been given the freedom to make!
The dark reality, of course, is that it is not free choice at all when women must convince men to love them and must convince themselves that they are more than just “used goods.” There are so many young women I have known for whom freely chosen sexual activity means a brief moment of pleasure — if that — followed by the unchosen side effects of paralyzing uncertainty, anger at the man involved, and finally a deep self-hatred that is impenetrable by feminist analysis. So-called sexual freedom is really just proclaiming oneself to be available for free, and therefore without value. To “choose” such freedom is tantamount to saying that one is worth nothing.
Admittedly, there are some who say that sex isn’t anything nearly so serious or important, but just another recreational activity not substantially different from ping-pong. I don’t believe it for a second. I learned most meaningfully from another woman the destructive force of sexuality out of control when I myself was under considerable pressure to cave in to a man’s sexual demands. I discussed the prospect with this friend, and after some time she finally said to me, “Don’t do it. So far in life you’ve made all the right choices and I’ve made all the wrong ones. I care enough about you that I don’t want to see you end up like me.” Naturally, that made up my mind. Sex does matter; it matters a lot; and I can only hope that those who deny it will wake up to their error before they damage themselves even more.
It is appalling that feminism has propagated lies so destructive to women. It has created the illusion that there is no room for self-discovery outside of sexual behavior. Not only is this a grotesque lie, but it is also an utterly boring one. Aside from its implied dismissal of all the world’s many riches outside the sexual domain, this false concept has placed stultifying limitations on the range of human relationships. We’re told that friendships between men and women are just a cover until they leap into the sack together. While romance is a natural and a commendable expression of love between women and men, it is simply not the only option. And in our sexually competitive climate, even romantic love barely deserves the title. Virginity among those seeking marital love would go far to improve the latter’s solidity and permanence, creating an atmosphere of honesty and discovery before the equally necessary and longed-for consummation. Where feminism sees freedom from men by placing body parts at their disposal in a bizarre game of self-deception, virginity recognizes the equally vulnerable though often overlooked state of men’s own hearts and seeks a way to love them for real.
It is puzzling and disturbing to me that regnant feminism has never acknowledged the empowering value of virginity. I tend to think that much of the feminist agenda is more invested in the culture of groundless autonomy and sexual Darwinism than it is in genuinely uplifting women. Of course, virginity is a battle against sexual temptation, and popular culture always opts for the easy way out instead of the character-building struggle. The result is superficial women formed by meaningless choices, worthy of stereotype, rather than laudable women of character, worthy of respect.
Preparing for Love:
Perhaps virginity seems a bit cold, even haughty and heartless. But virginity hardly has exclusive claim on those defects, if it has any claim at all. Promiscuity offers a significantly worse fate. I have a very dear friend who, sadly, is more wordly-wise than I am. By libertine feminist standards she ought to be proud of her conquests and ready for more, but frequently she isn’t. The most telling insight about the shambles of her heart came to me once in a phone conversation when we were speculating about our futures. Generally they are filled with exotic travel and adventure and Ph.D.s. This time, however, they were not. She admitted to me that what she really wanted was to be living on a farm in rural Connecticut, raising a horde of children and embroidering tea towels. It is a lovely dream, defiantly unambitious and domestic. But her short, failed sexual relationships haven’t taken her any closer to her dream and have left her little hope that she’ll ever attain it. I must be honest here: virginity hasn’t landed me on a farm in rural Connecticut, either. Sexual innocence is not a guarantee against heartbreak. But there is a crucial difference: I haven’t lost a part of myself to someone who has subsequently spurned it, rejected it, and perhaps never cared for it at all.
I sincerely hope that virginity will not be a lifetime project for me. Quite the contrary, my subversive commitment to virginity serves as preparation for another commitment, for loving one man completely and exclusively. Admittedly, there is a minor frustration in my love: I haven’t met the man yet (at least, not to my knowledge). But hope, which does not disappoint, sustains me.
04 October 2007
The big, bad "D" word
Don't worry, I'm not talking about anything that would have gotten your mouth washed out as a kid. The topic is discipline. I'll be quoting the apostle Paul quite a bit in this note, since he had tons to say about the topic. First, I will discuss the necessity of discipline as it pertains to life in general. Then, and much more importantly, how discipline pertains to our walk with Christ. Let's go...
I'm going to break up the discipline we need to practice and instill in our daily lives into 3 categories: words, thoughts and actions. Every aspect of our day falls into one of these buckets.
Words: Practicing discipline with our words is paramountly important. One of the quickest ways to get yourself in trouble is to lose control of your tongue with a person or in a situation. James 1:19 puts it quite plainly, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." God gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth. Maybe we should take that as a hint and practice listening more. Besides, asking pointed questions and investing in people's lives by just listening to them is an invaluable way to show Christ's loves to the world.
I'm the chief of sinners when it comes to this next point. God has really convicted me of speaking flippantly and thoughtlessly. Proverbs 10:19 pins me to the wall..."When words are many, sin is not absent." Speaking thoughtlessly can cause plenty of undue embarrassment, hurt feelings, relational consequences, etc. Proverbs 12:18, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." As followers of Christ, we have an obligation to be disciplined in the words we allow to come out of our mouth. We will be held accountable for each and every one of them when we stand before God's throne on the day of judgment. King David echoes this sentiment with his prayer, "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight oh, Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer." - Psalm 19:14.
Thoughts: This is an area where I believe Satan has a hay day with the body of Christ. Disciplining our mind is probably the most difficult and lifelong struggle we will ever face. The mind holds all the humanity and sin that pursuing a life that honors God tries to suppress. 2 Cor. 10:5, "...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." There are an infinite number of ways that your mind can lead your astray and cause trouble in your life and the lives of those around you. We as believers are called to submit our minds to the authority of Almighty God. As men specifically, the largest area of struggle comes with women. We as men must foresee this attack and be ready for it. No one said living a life devoted to Christ was easy, but it is possible with His help. Paul encourages us in 1 Cor. 9:27, "No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." Disciplining our thought patterns is possible, my friends. Once you have reigned in your mind, the body will follow with much greater ease.
Actions: Alright, now we come to the big one. Words and thoughts find their culmination in actions. Disciplining our actions is massively important. Losing focus in this area is the one of the quickest ways to lose your witness with the world. We have to stay on our game. Practically speaking, having our standards set in concrete right now is a great idea. Creating a set of expectations for daily life will make things easier. Get a daily planner and keep it full. Make a schedule of the day's requirements and stick to it. Work comes before play, people. It's definitely not any fun, but being disciplined requires it. Success only comes to those who set a goal and are disciplined to work diligently towards that goal, whatever it may be.
Paul tells us of his struggles to life righteously in Romans 7:15-24, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
I find this passage to be incredibly encouraging! If Paul, one of the spiritual giants of the Bible faced these kinds of struggle...it makes all my trials seem much more bearable. We can learn a lot from how he approaches trials. Disciplining our mouth, mind and bodies just makes life go smoother. Even more importantly, it brings more honor and glory to our God.
Discipline as it pertains to the Christian walk:
Discipline when it comes to our relationship with God and Jesus is such a sweet thing. It's how you get past the baby Christian stages where you're simply learning the information and beginning to understand the who, what, where and when of the gospel and Jesus Himself. It's only through disciplined study of the scriptures and of the man Jesus that we can begin to really experience what the Christian walk is all about. It's not a bunch of regulations and rules set in place only for the sake of controlling us and turning us into well-behaved drones. Christianity is supposed to be an intimate, passionate vibrant relationship between us and the Creator of the universe, Almighty God, and His Son Jesus. This is all quite something to wrap your head around...but we can only get to this point through spiritual discipline.
It's really this simple, my friends. You have to treat your relationship with God like it's a marriage. You have to spend quality time with Him as much as humanly possible. Get to know Him intimately, through His word and through quality prayer time. You must get to the point that Christianity ceases to be something you should do and becomes something you do. Just do it. There has to be a transition made where we stop thinking about the actions that pertain to God as "have-to's" and "need-to's" and they become "want-to's" and "get-to's". It all sounds very Pine Covey, but it's really just a matter of perspective. Showing discipline to wake up early consistently, just so you and God can share some quality time together before the day gets in the way is essential. If you're not a morning person, then set aside some time each night before bed where you and God get time alone together. He is a jealous God, He desires our focus and our attention. Taking an intentional and deliberate approach to our relationship with our Heavenly Father is the only way it's going to work. We all know how things get if we don't create time for God. He doesn't get any time or focus at all. Life gets in the way.
Satan doesn't have to cause us to sin to render us useless for God's work. All he has to do is take our focus off of God and His plans. My friends, disciplining ourselves to consistently do God-stuff is an absolute must if we are to bring Him glory and fulfill our purpose for existing. Being undisciplined is like a train that jumps the track, a ski boat that leaves Line 1 and ventures into open and uncharted waters. The train isn't fulfilling its purpose, neither is the ski boat. My friends, our Heavenly Father stands ready and waiting to pour out all the good things He has for us. But first, He demands our attention.
Make time today for your creator. Crack open the Bible and read a couple chapters in 1 Corinthians or 1 Peter or James. Just get in the word and let God speak to you. Push out the world for a little bit and just have some quality conversation with your Savior.
Practicing discipline requires tremendous maturity and dedication. You will face difficulties unlike any other. However, you will learn so much about your Creator and His glory and majesty that it will all be worth it.
My friends, my heart yearns to know my God more intimately, and to become more like Jesus Christ each day. I stumble all the time, just like we all do. It's by God's grace and mercy alone that you and I can climb this mountain and practice discipline each day.
Remember: One day, one hour, one second, one task, one struggle, one thing at a time. Give it to God. Submit yourself to His authority and let His infinite power provide the strength to develop discipline in your life. Go. Get out there and live the life you were meant to live!
Be blessed...
I'm going to break up the discipline we need to practice and instill in our daily lives into 3 categories: words, thoughts and actions. Every aspect of our day falls into one of these buckets.
Words: Practicing discipline with our words is paramountly important. One of the quickest ways to get yourself in trouble is to lose control of your tongue with a person or in a situation. James 1:19 puts it quite plainly, "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." God gave us 2 ears and only 1 mouth. Maybe we should take that as a hint and practice listening more. Besides, asking pointed questions and investing in people's lives by just listening to them is an invaluable way to show Christ's loves to the world.
I'm the chief of sinners when it comes to this next point. God has really convicted me of speaking flippantly and thoughtlessly. Proverbs 10:19 pins me to the wall..."When words are many, sin is not absent." Speaking thoughtlessly can cause plenty of undue embarrassment, hurt feelings, relational consequences, etc. Proverbs 12:18, "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing." As followers of Christ, we have an obligation to be disciplined in the words we allow to come out of our mouth. We will be held accountable for each and every one of them when we stand before God's throne on the day of judgment. King David echoes this sentiment with his prayer, "May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight oh, Lord, my Strength and my Redeemer." - Psalm 19:14.
Thoughts: This is an area where I believe Satan has a hay day with the body of Christ. Disciplining our mind is probably the most difficult and lifelong struggle we will ever face. The mind holds all the humanity and sin that pursuing a life that honors God tries to suppress. 2 Cor. 10:5, "...take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ." There are an infinite number of ways that your mind can lead your astray and cause trouble in your life and the lives of those around you. We as believers are called to submit our minds to the authority of Almighty God. As men specifically, the largest area of struggle comes with women. We as men must foresee this attack and be ready for it. No one said living a life devoted to Christ was easy, but it is possible with His help. Paul encourages us in 1 Cor. 9:27, "No, I beat my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." Disciplining our thought patterns is possible, my friends. Once you have reigned in your mind, the body will follow with much greater ease.
Actions: Alright, now we come to the big one. Words and thoughts find their culmination in actions. Disciplining our actions is massively important. Losing focus in this area is the one of the quickest ways to lose your witness with the world. We have to stay on our game. Practically speaking, having our standards set in concrete right now is a great idea. Creating a set of expectations for daily life will make things easier. Get a daily planner and keep it full. Make a schedule of the day's requirements and stick to it. Work comes before play, people. It's definitely not any fun, but being disciplined requires it. Success only comes to those who set a goal and are disciplined to work diligently towards that goal, whatever it may be.
Paul tells us of his struggles to life righteously in Romans 7:15-24, "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[c] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. 21So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. 22For in my inner being I delight in God's law; 23but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. 24What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? 25Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!
I find this passage to be incredibly encouraging! If Paul, one of the spiritual giants of the Bible faced these kinds of struggle...it makes all my trials seem much more bearable. We can learn a lot from how he approaches trials. Disciplining our mouth, mind and bodies just makes life go smoother. Even more importantly, it brings more honor and glory to our God.
Discipline as it pertains to the Christian walk:
Discipline when it comes to our relationship with God and Jesus is such a sweet thing. It's how you get past the baby Christian stages where you're simply learning the information and beginning to understand the who, what, where and when of the gospel and Jesus Himself. It's only through disciplined study of the scriptures and of the man Jesus that we can begin to really experience what the Christian walk is all about. It's not a bunch of regulations and rules set in place only for the sake of controlling us and turning us into well-behaved drones. Christianity is supposed to be an intimate, passionate vibrant relationship between us and the Creator of the universe, Almighty God, and His Son Jesus. This is all quite something to wrap your head around...but we can only get to this point through spiritual discipline.
It's really this simple, my friends. You have to treat your relationship with God like it's a marriage. You have to spend quality time with Him as much as humanly possible. Get to know Him intimately, through His word and through quality prayer time. You must get to the point that Christianity ceases to be something you should do and becomes something you do. Just do it. There has to be a transition made where we stop thinking about the actions that pertain to God as "have-to's" and "need-to's" and they become "want-to's" and "get-to's". It all sounds very Pine Covey, but it's really just a matter of perspective. Showing discipline to wake up early consistently, just so you and God can share some quality time together before the day gets in the way is essential. If you're not a morning person, then set aside some time each night before bed where you and God get time alone together. He is a jealous God, He desires our focus and our attention. Taking an intentional and deliberate approach to our relationship with our Heavenly Father is the only way it's going to work. We all know how things get if we don't create time for God. He doesn't get any time or focus at all. Life gets in the way.
Satan doesn't have to cause us to sin to render us useless for God's work. All he has to do is take our focus off of God and His plans. My friends, disciplining ourselves to consistently do God-stuff is an absolute must if we are to bring Him glory and fulfill our purpose for existing. Being undisciplined is like a train that jumps the track, a ski boat that leaves Line 1 and ventures into open and uncharted waters. The train isn't fulfilling its purpose, neither is the ski boat. My friends, our Heavenly Father stands ready and waiting to pour out all the good things He has for us. But first, He demands our attention.
Make time today for your creator. Crack open the Bible and read a couple chapters in 1 Corinthians or 1 Peter or James. Just get in the word and let God speak to you. Push out the world for a little bit and just have some quality conversation with your Savior.
Practicing discipline requires tremendous maturity and dedication. You will face difficulties unlike any other. However, you will learn so much about your Creator and His glory and majesty that it will all be worth it.
My friends, my heart yearns to know my God more intimately, and to become more like Jesus Christ each day. I stumble all the time, just like we all do. It's by God's grace and mercy alone that you and I can climb this mountain and practice discipline each day.
Remember: One day, one hour, one second, one task, one struggle, one thing at a time. Give it to God. Submit yourself to His authority and let His infinite power provide the strength to develop discipline in your life. Go. Get out there and live the life you were meant to live!
Be blessed...
30 September 2007
Afraid to feel
There is an epidemic of indifference facing our generation right now. A general atmosphere of apathy and uncaring hearts seems to have settled over our culture and my gender as well.
The topic of this post is sensitivity. I'm not talking about how fast your target reticle moves in Halo 3, so try to follow me here. I'm mainly talking to the men here (as usual) because I think that women, by nature, have an easier time accepting, embracing and expressing the emotional side of our humanity. I'm specifically talking about two forms of sensitivity: to God's spirit and work, and to the travesties and inhumanities we face in the world.
Our culture tries on a daily basis to draw men into this pseudo-masculine pile of self-destructive and soul-suppressing lies. We're told that "real men" don't let anything get to them, they don't allow things to bother them. "Real men don't cry" is the mantra. Hmm, I wonder what King David would say about that. The "man after God's own heart", the guy who killed lions, tigers and bears with his bare hands, the guy who single-handedly downed the most famous giant in human history, the successful general and king of Israel...by current societal standards would be a cry baby. 46 times in scripture we find David with tears on his face.
I used to take pride in not letting stuff get to me. "Rolling with the punches" became a way of life. The easiest way to avoid the uncomfortable, painful, tragic, unjust, etc. was to wall off my heart and refuse to feel anything. Over time, my heart got so calloused that it was hard to really feel anything. I remember sitting in church once, while a missions video was playing about children in Africa, and thinking to myself "I wish I felt something, but I don't." Only after this summer, where significant time was devoted to the things of God, was I able to remove the walls around my heart and begin to feel again.
If you are the same way, if you struggle to feel any pain, empathy or sympathy, if you're not motivated to action when you see things that aren't right...there is hope. You are not simply stuck with your apathetic self. God stands ready to touch you with the tenderness and sensitivity that we were designed to have. It will require time and genuine effort on your part to regain these parts of your heart that you have walled off. However, you know that it is worth it.
The other side of the coin is possessing a sensitivity to God's work in your life and the lives of those around you. Col. 2:6-8 "6- So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7- rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 8- See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."
"Overflowing with thankfulness" is a sign that we are sensitive to God's work. It's a sign we're aware of His presence and His gifts in our lives.
A couple of weeks ago, during a particularly hard time, I was listening to a Hillsong United song when I was suddenly overcome with emotion over how good God has been to me. I began weeping uncontrollably at how much undeserved grace, favor and blessing I've been shown by Almighty God. I found myself on the floor, face up, asking again and again "Why do you love me? I don't deserve this......" After everything had calmed down and a whole bunch of praising God and hardcore praying had occurred, I realized how amazing that experience was. I've been praying for a while that God would make me sensitive to His Spirit, that I would be emotionally moved by His works. That incident on the floor of my bedroom was one big answer to prayer.
My friends, if you want to get the most out of your walk with Christ, if you want to feel the life-transforming power He offers, you must cut down those walls around your heart. You must be willing to feel, to be moved to tears by injustice and suffering and to be motivated to action by seeing the work of God's hand.
Men: Don't buy into the lie that real men don't feel anything or show emotion. Embrace the emotion that God has placed inside you. For the record, I don't know any woman who wants to marry an emotionless robot. I don't think any child deserves to be raised by a man who is incapable of feeling sorrow or being moved by God's work. Your heart is vibrant and beating. Your soul desires to experience the full gambit of our God-given emotions and sensitivities. Forcefully denying them causes nothing but trouble, for you and for the special ones in your life.
Ladies: Properly embrace the emotions God has placed in your hearts. If you have callouses from past hurts or abuses, give them to God and allow Him to heal you. Your tenderness, compassion and empathy encourage us men and spur us on to follow godly precepts. This is an area where you vastly surpass men in your ability to exemplify God's character. Never see your emotional sensitivities as a problem, they are part of who you are...God's masterpiece.
Go forth and feel. Be blessed...
The topic of this post is sensitivity. I'm not talking about how fast your target reticle moves in Halo 3, so try to follow me here. I'm mainly talking to the men here (as usual) because I think that women, by nature, have an easier time accepting, embracing and expressing the emotional side of our humanity. I'm specifically talking about two forms of sensitivity: to God's spirit and work, and to the travesties and inhumanities we face in the world.
Our culture tries on a daily basis to draw men into this pseudo-masculine pile of self-destructive and soul-suppressing lies. We're told that "real men" don't let anything get to them, they don't allow things to bother them. "Real men don't cry" is the mantra. Hmm, I wonder what King David would say about that. The "man after God's own heart", the guy who killed lions, tigers and bears with his bare hands, the guy who single-handedly downed the most famous giant in human history, the successful general and king of Israel...by current societal standards would be a cry baby. 46 times in scripture we find David with tears on his face.
I used to take pride in not letting stuff get to me. "Rolling with the punches" became a way of life. The easiest way to avoid the uncomfortable, painful, tragic, unjust, etc. was to wall off my heart and refuse to feel anything. Over time, my heart got so calloused that it was hard to really feel anything. I remember sitting in church once, while a missions video was playing about children in Africa, and thinking to myself "I wish I felt something, but I don't." Only after this summer, where significant time was devoted to the things of God, was I able to remove the walls around my heart and begin to feel again.
If you are the same way, if you struggle to feel any pain, empathy or sympathy, if you're not motivated to action when you see things that aren't right...there is hope. You are not simply stuck with your apathetic self. God stands ready to touch you with the tenderness and sensitivity that we were designed to have. It will require time and genuine effort on your part to regain these parts of your heart that you have walled off. However, you know that it is worth it.
The other side of the coin is possessing a sensitivity to God's work in your life and the lives of those around you. Col. 2:6-8 "6- So then, just as you received Christ Jesus as Lord, continue to live in him, 7- rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. 8- See to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the basic principles of this world rather than on Christ."
"Overflowing with thankfulness" is a sign that we are sensitive to God's work. It's a sign we're aware of His presence and His gifts in our lives.
A couple of weeks ago, during a particularly hard time, I was listening to a Hillsong United song when I was suddenly overcome with emotion over how good God has been to me. I began weeping uncontrollably at how much undeserved grace, favor and blessing I've been shown by Almighty God. I found myself on the floor, face up, asking again and again "Why do you love me? I don't deserve this......" After everything had calmed down and a whole bunch of praising God and hardcore praying had occurred, I realized how amazing that experience was. I've been praying for a while that God would make me sensitive to His Spirit, that I would be emotionally moved by His works. That incident on the floor of my bedroom was one big answer to prayer.
My friends, if you want to get the most out of your walk with Christ, if you want to feel the life-transforming power He offers, you must cut down those walls around your heart. You must be willing to feel, to be moved to tears by injustice and suffering and to be motivated to action by seeing the work of God's hand.
Men: Don't buy into the lie that real men don't feel anything or show emotion. Embrace the emotion that God has placed inside you. For the record, I don't know any woman who wants to marry an emotionless robot. I don't think any child deserves to be raised by a man who is incapable of feeling sorrow or being moved by God's work. Your heart is vibrant and beating. Your soul desires to experience the full gambit of our God-given emotions and sensitivities. Forcefully denying them causes nothing but trouble, for you and for the special ones in your life.
Ladies: Properly embrace the emotions God has placed in your hearts. If you have callouses from past hurts or abuses, give them to God and allow Him to heal you. Your tenderness, compassion and empathy encourage us men and spur us on to follow godly precepts. This is an area where you vastly surpass men in your ability to exemplify God's character. Never see your emotional sensitivities as a problem, they are part of who you are...God's masterpiece.
Go forth and feel. Be blessed...
25 September 2007
"To Some Ladies" - John Keats (1884)
One of the best works from one of my favorite poets. Enjoy.
What though while the wonders of nature exploring,
I cannot your light, mazy footsteps attend;
Nor listen to accents, that almost adoring,
Bless Cynthia’s face, the enthusiast’s friend:
Yet over the steep, whence the mountain stream rushes,
With you, kindest friends, in idea I rove;
Mark the clear tumbling crystal, its passionate gushes,
Its spray that the wild flower kindly bedews.
Why linger you so, the wild labyrinth strolling?
Why breathless, unable your bliss to declare?
Ah! you list to the nightingale’s tender condoling,
Responsive to sylphs, in the moon beamy air.
’Tis morn, and the flowers with dew are yet drooping,
I see you are treading the verge of the sea:
And now! ah, I see it—you just now are stooping
To pick up the keep-sake intended for me.
If a cherub, on pinions of silver descending,
Had brought me a gem from the fret-work of heaven;
And smiles, with his star-cheering voice sweetly blending,
The blessings of Tighe had melodiously given;
It had not created a warmer emotion
Than the present, fair nymphs, I was blest with from you
Than the shell, from the bright golden sands of the ocean
Which the emerald waves at your feet gladly threw.
For, indeed, ’tis a sweet and peculiar pleasure,
(And blissful is he who such happiness finds,)
To possess but a span of the hour of leisure,
In elegant, pure, and aerial minds.
What though while the wonders of nature exploring,
I cannot your light, mazy footsteps attend;
Nor listen to accents, that almost adoring,
Bless Cynthia’s face, the enthusiast’s friend:
Yet over the steep, whence the mountain stream rushes,
With you, kindest friends, in idea I rove;
Mark the clear tumbling crystal, its passionate gushes,
Its spray that the wild flower kindly bedews.
Why linger you so, the wild labyrinth strolling?
Why breathless, unable your bliss to declare?
Ah! you list to the nightingale’s tender condoling,
Responsive to sylphs, in the moon beamy air.
’Tis morn, and the flowers with dew are yet drooping,
I see you are treading the verge of the sea:
And now! ah, I see it—you just now are stooping
To pick up the keep-sake intended for me.
If a cherub, on pinions of silver descending,
Had brought me a gem from the fret-work of heaven;
And smiles, with his star-cheering voice sweetly blending,
The blessings of Tighe had melodiously given;
It had not created a warmer emotion
Than the present, fair nymphs, I was blest with from you
Than the shell, from the bright golden sands of the ocean
Which the emerald waves at your feet gladly threw.
For, indeed, ’tis a sweet and peculiar pleasure,
(And blissful is he who such happiness finds,)
To possess but a span of the hour of leisure,
In elegant, pure, and aerial minds.
"Godly Manhood" exerpt...
I was on Boundless.org and found this article. Hopefully, it will bless you as it has me.
"I've known plenty of men whose behavior is highly moral for the most part, whose church attendance is fairly regular, who treat women with love and respect, and might even cook the pancakes for the men's prayer breakfast, but there's not a spark of godly life in them. There's no passion for Jesus, no orientation around the glory of God, no thought of walking in the Spirit. They're just moral men who do Christian activities. If you asked them how they've connected with God that week or how they have felt the leadership of His Spirit on this or that work project or in their roles as husbands or fathers, they wouldn't have a clue. I know this because I've been that man, and in more moments than I care to admit, I am that man.
On the other hand, you can find a man who reads his Bible, serves, attends church, and cooks pancakes right alongside the other guy and reflects the glory of God in every flip of the pancake. That's the godly one.
So if doing the list is not the difference, what is? The difference is the heart, plain and simple. God looks at the heart. At its core, godly manhood (and womanhood for that matter) is an issue of the heart. We need not run on to our list of things to do, until we have planted a flag right here and set up camp for a long time.
So here is my definition of biblical manhood as simply as I can put it: Biblical manhood is the state or condition of a man who is making progress in pursuing and knowing God Himself (as opposed to merely accumulating facts about God — the facts must at some point lead to a fire in the heart for the Person of God), and who values these above all else.
A godly man is a man who is after the heart of God, who longs for God, and whose own heart belongs to God. This is much more than "I gave my heart to Jesus" when I was 12 years old at summer camp. This is a moment-by-moment giving over of our heart, our self, to the Father, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, with a hope, a desire, a passion for His glory to be reflected in all we think and do. A godly man knows God, so much so that he can say, Oh God, you are my God. That, in a nutshell, is godly manhood.
Which of course begs the question: So how do I have a heart after God's heart? I think it starts right where you are — with desire (God given, I believe). In fact, I remember having only desire when I eked out this prayer, "God, I want to be a man after your heart, but to be honest, I don't have any passion for You right now at all. Please give me that passion." That simple prayer was the beginning of an amazing journey into the heart of God that continues today. What it has helped me realize is that a godly man is not made by a list, rather he is forged in the crucible of everyday life, where all the events and relationships of which he is a part are being used by God to draw the man into a greater intimacy with Him.
And it is in the crucible where I find God, because I am looking for Him; my senses are "awakened," as it were, to Him. When I am looking for Him, the Scriptures come alive, illuminated by His Spirit; prayer becomes a lifeline of conversation with the Holy One, and on my really good days I find myself like Paul, willing to give up all my religious pedigree simply to know Christ more fully.
Yes, there are a thousand practical things godly men should do, and some are of greater importance than others. We should study the scriptures. We should pay our bills on time. We should open doors for women. We should actively pursue godly relationships. We should serve. We should mentor someone and be mentored by someone. We should disciple and be discipled. We should read good books on biblical manhood.
I do all of these things and more. But if in doing them I have no greater love for Christ, no growing passion for the glory of God to be revealed through my life, no sense of a greater connection with the Spirit of God in my life, no deeper intimacy with the Father, then somewhere I have missed the point, and I need to go back to square one. You can't start at the fruit and work backwards. Fruit is borne out of abiding.
This prayer I read long ago from A.W. Tozer is a great place to start:
"O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed."
That kind of heart, if it is sincere, will not be ignored by God."
"I've known plenty of men whose behavior is highly moral for the most part, whose church attendance is fairly regular, who treat women with love and respect, and might even cook the pancakes for the men's prayer breakfast, but there's not a spark of godly life in them. There's no passion for Jesus, no orientation around the glory of God, no thought of walking in the Spirit. They're just moral men who do Christian activities. If you asked them how they've connected with God that week or how they have felt the leadership of His Spirit on this or that work project or in their roles as husbands or fathers, they wouldn't have a clue. I know this because I've been that man, and in more moments than I care to admit, I am that man.
On the other hand, you can find a man who reads his Bible, serves, attends church, and cooks pancakes right alongside the other guy and reflects the glory of God in every flip of the pancake. That's the godly one.
So if doing the list is not the difference, what is? The difference is the heart, plain and simple. God looks at the heart. At its core, godly manhood (and womanhood for that matter) is an issue of the heart. We need not run on to our list of things to do, until we have planted a flag right here and set up camp for a long time.
So here is my definition of biblical manhood as simply as I can put it: Biblical manhood is the state or condition of a man who is making progress in pursuing and knowing God Himself (as opposed to merely accumulating facts about God — the facts must at some point lead to a fire in the heart for the Person of God), and who values these above all else.
A godly man is a man who is after the heart of God, who longs for God, and whose own heart belongs to God. This is much more than "I gave my heart to Jesus" when I was 12 years old at summer camp. This is a moment-by-moment giving over of our heart, our self, to the Father, to Jesus, to the Holy Spirit, with a hope, a desire, a passion for His glory to be reflected in all we think and do. A godly man knows God, so much so that he can say, Oh God, you are my God. That, in a nutshell, is godly manhood.
Which of course begs the question: So how do I have a heart after God's heart? I think it starts right where you are — with desire (God given, I believe). In fact, I remember having only desire when I eked out this prayer, "God, I want to be a man after your heart, but to be honest, I don't have any passion for You right now at all. Please give me that passion." That simple prayer was the beginning of an amazing journey into the heart of God that continues today. What it has helped me realize is that a godly man is not made by a list, rather he is forged in the crucible of everyday life, where all the events and relationships of which he is a part are being used by God to draw the man into a greater intimacy with Him.
And it is in the crucible where I find God, because I am looking for Him; my senses are "awakened," as it were, to Him. When I am looking for Him, the Scriptures come alive, illuminated by His Spirit; prayer becomes a lifeline of conversation with the Holy One, and on my really good days I find myself like Paul, willing to give up all my religious pedigree simply to know Christ more fully.
Yes, there are a thousand practical things godly men should do, and some are of greater importance than others. We should study the scriptures. We should pay our bills on time. We should open doors for women. We should actively pursue godly relationships. We should serve. We should mentor someone and be mentored by someone. We should disciple and be discipled. We should read good books on biblical manhood.
I do all of these things and more. But if in doing them I have no greater love for Christ, no growing passion for the glory of God to be revealed through my life, no sense of a greater connection with the Spirit of God in my life, no deeper intimacy with the Father, then somewhere I have missed the point, and I need to go back to square one. You can't start at the fruit and work backwards. Fruit is borne out of abiding.
This prayer I read long ago from A.W. Tozer is a great place to start:
"O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, that so I may know Thee indeed."
That kind of heart, if it is sincere, will not be ignored by God."
20 September 2007
Save it...all of it
Gentlemen: I have a challenge for you. It won't be easy and it won't be fun in the short term. However, the lady you will some day call your wife will surely appreciate your efforts in this area.
Ladies: You are the benefactors of this challenge. The same challenge could be issued to you as well, but I am not the one to do that.
Here goes. Men, I challenge you to be ordinary. I challenge you to be bland. I challenge you to blend in with the other faces of the godly men around you. Here's the big one: I challenge you to save yourself, and by doing so, guard the hearts of all the women around you.
Now, I have to explain myself, because every last one of you thinks I've lost it after writing that paragraph. But, we as men need to remember that we have a biblical mandate on how to treat the women around us. 1 Tim. 5:2 - "Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." We as a generation of godly men have completely ignored this vital commandment. I can probably list you at least 50 Christian men off the top of my head who violate this verse with every single conversation they have with women.
Most men today, even Christian men, see women as "potentials". Either they have potential to be something romantic or they don't, and get classified as "friend". Either way, women are subjugated to this role of "potential". I was guilty of this travesty myself not that long ago. I know how pervasive it can be.
Women desire to be desired. It's one of the ways they personify the qualities of God Almighty (thanks Captivating). As godly men, you and I have a responsibility to guard that desire, to guard the hearts of the women in your life. Just as you will only call one person your wife, each woman in your life will only call one man her husband. Let's be honest, it's probably not going to be you, (statistically speaking).
There was a time when I found great satisfaction and confidence in women finding me attractive. It was one of the biggest motivating factors in my quest for personal growth. I wanted to be charming, funny, intelligent, kind, daring, sensitive, "deep", and all that jazz. It wasn't because I wanted to fulfill God's purposes in my life, it was so women would like me. It was as if I gave myself little merit badges when a new lady found me attractive. What a huge mistake.
I read Boundless webzine quite often. It offers great insight and biblical perspective on the matters of our college-aged generation. I highly recommend you check it out. "www.boundless.org" I was reading an article in there about a guy who consciously tried to not be charming, funny, etc. to the masses. He was a strong, upstanding, godly man, but he wasn't the least bit flashy. He was interested in a lady at his church and approached her about the possibility of courting her. She hesitated at first and gave it serious prayer and consideration before accepting his offer. After a few months with him, she realized that the man she had known before they started courting was not the man she found herself with now. This man was "the total package": eloquent, charming, philosophical, romantic, funny, social, strong, vibrant, dependable, ambitious and he deeply loved the Lord. She asked him once why he had changed so much since they started seeing each other. His response was simple, "you weren't mine yet." He told her about how he consciously holds back when he's around women. His walls are continually up because he doesn't want to cause them to be attracted to him when he's not available. I was totally floored by this article because it's completely counter-cultural to the world you and I live in.
So much of our culture is pointed at making yourself as attractive and glamorous as possible in the attempt to lure a member of the opposite sex towards yourself. In actually, the only one you should be luring is "the one". We are called to be waiting patiently until God shows us who we are supposed to be pursuing in that ultimate conquest that results in a God-honoring marriage and family. I specifically chose not to say it "ends" in a marriage because the chase definitely doesn't end at the altar. Guys, if we're doing our job right, our future wives should feel sought after, desired and prized for the rest of our days. She should blush at our attention 3 years into the marriage. She should still be talking about the "small things" we do to show our love and devotion with her small group girls 10 years down the road. Ok, sorry for the rabbit trail, back to the point...
Here's chapter and verse on my argument to save yourself in a whole mind and body way, not just in the sexual sense everybody gets so wrapped up in. Song of Songs 8:4 - "...Do not awaken love until it so desires." What does that mean? It means stop putting the moves on people you have no intention of committing to!!!!!!!!
I have sat and listened to women talk (something every guy should do, it's fascinating). One thing I hear quite often is how much women hate being played around with. Now, don't get defensive guys, I know the ladies play just as many games (if not more) than we do. That's not the point. The point is that we are men and it's high time we stepped up.
Here's the really hard part:
If God isn't calling you to pursue some lady for a lifelong commitment, there are a bunch of things you have no business doing. Sitting late at night somewhere alone...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Having deep, personal, emotionally intimate conversations...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Engaging in any kind of physically intimate activity (anything you wouldn't do in front of your pastor and grandmother)...NOT A GOOD IDEA! There's really no way around this, guys. We have to shepherd the hearts of the women in our life. Someday they will marry...that man is the only man who has any right to these things I'm talking about.
We as men have to step up. It's our job to take the lead because a lot of women are yearning for this kind of attention. It's our job to point them in the right direction (Jesus Christ), and to help validate them as our sisters.
I know most of you don't agree with me yet and that's OK. I got smacked in the face really hard with this wake up call from God this summer. My opinions and behavior in this area have changed dramatically in the last few months (read my other posts for evidence). I truly hope and pray that you stop and consider the contents of this post. Your future wife deserves every ounce of you. The women around us deserve to be able to give their future husbands every last ounce of themselves. They shouldn't have to look back on affections they used to have for you and wish that they could give that scarred piece of their heart to their husband. That isn't right. Stop romancing women for fun, excitement or satisfaction. Stop practicing your charm and your "game" on women that yearn to be sought after. Stop twisting and abusing their God-given needs and desires for your own amusement or satisfaction. STOP!!! Save yourself completely for the lady God is preparing right now to be your wife.
Ladies, I love you like my sister. I truly hope that this post rings true with you all as well. A wise friend gave me her perspective on this matter not long ago and I couldn't agree with her more. Ladies, you should be living behind an emotional wall when it comes to guys. Don't allow temporary thrill and satisfaction to take away from your future marriage. Don't use your womanly charm to make some poor guy fall for you if God is not calling you into a committed relationship with him. We men are easily swayed by the attention of a lady. Please use your powers carefully. Save yourself: mind, body and soul for the man God is preparing right now to be your husband.
Be blessed...
Ladies: You are the benefactors of this challenge. The same challenge could be issued to you as well, but I am not the one to do that.
Here goes. Men, I challenge you to be ordinary. I challenge you to be bland. I challenge you to blend in with the other faces of the godly men around you. Here's the big one: I challenge you to save yourself, and by doing so, guard the hearts of all the women around you.
Now, I have to explain myself, because every last one of you thinks I've lost it after writing that paragraph. But, we as men need to remember that we have a biblical mandate on how to treat the women around us. 1 Tim. 5:2 - "Treat older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity." We as a generation of godly men have completely ignored this vital commandment. I can probably list you at least 50 Christian men off the top of my head who violate this verse with every single conversation they have with women.
Most men today, even Christian men, see women as "potentials". Either they have potential to be something romantic or they don't, and get classified as "friend". Either way, women are subjugated to this role of "potential". I was guilty of this travesty myself not that long ago. I know how pervasive it can be.
Women desire to be desired. It's one of the ways they personify the qualities of God Almighty (thanks Captivating). As godly men, you and I have a responsibility to guard that desire, to guard the hearts of the women in your life. Just as you will only call one person your wife, each woman in your life will only call one man her husband. Let's be honest, it's probably not going to be you, (statistically speaking).
There was a time when I found great satisfaction and confidence in women finding me attractive. It was one of the biggest motivating factors in my quest for personal growth. I wanted to be charming, funny, intelligent, kind, daring, sensitive, "deep", and all that jazz. It wasn't because I wanted to fulfill God's purposes in my life, it was so women would like me. It was as if I gave myself little merit badges when a new lady found me attractive. What a huge mistake.
I read Boundless webzine quite often. It offers great insight and biblical perspective on the matters of our college-aged generation. I highly recommend you check it out. "www.boundless.org" I was reading an article in there about a guy who consciously tried to not be charming, funny, etc. to the masses. He was a strong, upstanding, godly man, but he wasn't the least bit flashy. He was interested in a lady at his church and approached her about the possibility of courting her. She hesitated at first and gave it serious prayer and consideration before accepting his offer. After a few months with him, she realized that the man she had known before they started courting was not the man she found herself with now. This man was "the total package": eloquent, charming, philosophical, romantic, funny, social, strong, vibrant, dependable, ambitious and he deeply loved the Lord. She asked him once why he had changed so much since they started seeing each other. His response was simple, "you weren't mine yet." He told her about how he consciously holds back when he's around women. His walls are continually up because he doesn't want to cause them to be attracted to him when he's not available. I was totally floored by this article because it's completely counter-cultural to the world you and I live in.
So much of our culture is pointed at making yourself as attractive and glamorous as possible in the attempt to lure a member of the opposite sex towards yourself. In actually, the only one you should be luring is "the one". We are called to be waiting patiently until God shows us who we are supposed to be pursuing in that ultimate conquest that results in a God-honoring marriage and family. I specifically chose not to say it "ends" in a marriage because the chase definitely doesn't end at the altar. Guys, if we're doing our job right, our future wives should feel sought after, desired and prized for the rest of our days. She should blush at our attention 3 years into the marriage. She should still be talking about the "small things" we do to show our love and devotion with her small group girls 10 years down the road. Ok, sorry for the rabbit trail, back to the point...
Here's chapter and verse on my argument to save yourself in a whole mind and body way, not just in the sexual sense everybody gets so wrapped up in. Song of Songs 8:4 - "...Do not awaken love until it so desires." What does that mean? It means stop putting the moves on people you have no intention of committing to!!!!!!!!
I have sat and listened to women talk (something every guy should do, it's fascinating). One thing I hear quite often is how much women hate being played around with. Now, don't get defensive guys, I know the ladies play just as many games (if not more) than we do. That's not the point. The point is that we are men and it's high time we stepped up.
Here's the really hard part:
If God isn't calling you to pursue some lady for a lifelong commitment, there are a bunch of things you have no business doing. Sitting late at night somewhere alone...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Having deep, personal, emotionally intimate conversations...NOT A GOOD IDEA! Engaging in any kind of physically intimate activity (anything you wouldn't do in front of your pastor and grandmother)...NOT A GOOD IDEA! There's really no way around this, guys. We have to shepherd the hearts of the women in our life. Someday they will marry...that man is the only man who has any right to these things I'm talking about.
We as men have to step up. It's our job to take the lead because a lot of women are yearning for this kind of attention. It's our job to point them in the right direction (Jesus Christ), and to help validate them as our sisters.
I know most of you don't agree with me yet and that's OK. I got smacked in the face really hard with this wake up call from God this summer. My opinions and behavior in this area have changed dramatically in the last few months (read my other posts for evidence). I truly hope and pray that you stop and consider the contents of this post. Your future wife deserves every ounce of you. The women around us deserve to be able to give their future husbands every last ounce of themselves. They shouldn't have to look back on affections they used to have for you and wish that they could give that scarred piece of their heart to their husband. That isn't right. Stop romancing women for fun, excitement or satisfaction. Stop practicing your charm and your "game" on women that yearn to be sought after. Stop twisting and abusing their God-given needs and desires for your own amusement or satisfaction. STOP!!! Save yourself completely for the lady God is preparing right now to be your wife.
Ladies, I love you like my sister. I truly hope that this post rings true with you all as well. A wise friend gave me her perspective on this matter not long ago and I couldn't agree with her more. Ladies, you should be living behind an emotional wall when it comes to guys. Don't allow temporary thrill and satisfaction to take away from your future marriage. Don't use your womanly charm to make some poor guy fall for you if God is not calling you into a committed relationship with him. We men are easily swayed by the attention of a lady. Please use your powers carefully. Save yourself: mind, body and soul for the man God is preparing right now to be your husband.
Be blessed...
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