Do you trust? Really?

I had some time to sit and reflect this week on life, etc. I came to a conclusion that didn't really surprise me at all...this has been the hardest 4 months of my life. 2007 has been the hardest year of my life. Ever since I ventured out from my parent's umbrella, all I've known was success. God blessed me time and time again with victory in my endeavors. Academically, spiritually, socially, etc...things just kept falling into place. This semester, everything changed.

I feel like a complete failure. I know that God's plan has been at work all along, and that this is just another page in the story of my life. However, that doesn't make an F on a transcript any easier to swallow. Between school, work, BYX, friends, future, etc. my blood pressure and heart rate have been on overdrive...it's done a number on me. When it became clear earlier this semester that I misread my calling and that I was following my own dream of becoming a doctor instead of following God's divine purpose for my existence, my world fell apart for a few days.

Even these last two weeks, Satan has been doing a number on me. Attacks were constant and powerful, my gut was in a knot almost unceasingly. I'd tried everything I knew to do: more prayer, more Bible, sing good songs, read poetry, incense and candles, etc. I couldn't shake the dread that I would continue to fail, that I didn't have what it takes. Thankfully, God decided to step in.

I was awoken from a heavy sleep in the middle of the night yesterday. Still groggy, I felt a presence in the room and I heard, almost audibly, "James, do you trust me?" It was a warm and soothing feeling in the room, undoubtedly God's assurance that He had not left me. It was an answer to much fervent prayer as well, simply because I know full well that I can't walk this path alone.

Our God is so good to us. Jesus Christ, His Son, brings so much peace and clarity to my weary soul on days like this that I'm almost brought to tears. He is so faithful in providing exactly what we need to make it through and become more like the people He wants us to be. No one ever said that life would be easy or pretty or anything like that. Anything worth having is worth struggling for; worth suffering for. It's such a comfort to know that the very Savior in whom I trust has already seen how this page, this chapter and even the story itself ends. He has read the whole book cover to cover and said, "It is good."

The question is...regardless of what's happening, do you trust in Jesus to do what He promised? Have you embraced the still, small, voice that says "Be still, and know that I am God?"

My friends, in a time of total chaos and upheaval...our God stands ready, holding a rudder to guide your ship through this storm your waging through.

I know these posts are slightly repetitive, but some truths just need a new perspective every once in a while. As this semester and even the year itself come to a close...remember where your strength lies. Remember that you don't fight your battles alone as long as you call on the name of Jesus Christ.

If you don't call on that Holy name, we need to talk. That's a whole 'nother conversation, buster.

Stay strong, my friends. Let's finish this race well and through this struggle shows those around us how this hope we cling to gets lived out. Let's use these trials as an opportunity to minister to a lost and dying world and be prognosticators of His grace. (word points...)

Be blessed...