Do you trust? Really?

I had some time to sit and reflect this week on life, etc. I came to a conclusion that didn't really surprise me at all...this has been the hardest 4 months of my life. 2007 has been the hardest year of my life. Ever since I ventured out from my parent's umbrella, all I've known was success. God blessed me time and time again with victory in my endeavors. Academically, spiritually, socially, etc...things just kept falling into place. This semester, everything changed.

I feel like a complete failure. I know that God's plan has been at work all along, and that this is just another page in the story of my life. However, that doesn't make an F on a transcript any easier to swallow. Between school, work, BYX, friends, future, etc. my blood pressure and heart rate have been on overdrive...it's done a number on me. When it became clear earlier this semester that I misread my calling and that I was following my own dream of becoming a doctor instead of following God's divine purpose for my existence, my world fell apart for a few days.

Even these last two weeks, Satan has been doing a number on me. Attacks were constant and powerful, my gut was in a knot almost unceasingly. I'd tried everything I knew to do: more prayer, more Bible, sing good songs, read poetry, incense and candles, etc. I couldn't shake the dread that I would continue to fail, that I didn't have what it takes. Thankfully, God decided to step in.

I was awoken from a heavy sleep in the middle of the night yesterday. Still groggy, I felt a presence in the room and I heard, almost audibly, "James, do you trust me?" It was a warm and soothing feeling in the room, undoubtedly God's assurance that He had not left me. It was an answer to much fervent prayer as well, simply because I know full well that I can't walk this path alone.

Our God is so good to us. Jesus Christ, His Son, brings so much peace and clarity to my weary soul on days like this that I'm almost brought to tears. He is so faithful in providing exactly what we need to make it through and become more like the people He wants us to be. No one ever said that life would be easy or pretty or anything like that. Anything worth having is worth struggling for; worth suffering for. It's such a comfort to know that the very Savior in whom I trust has already seen how this page, this chapter and even the story itself ends. He has read the whole book cover to cover and said, "It is good."

The question is...regardless of what's happening, do you trust in Jesus to do what He promised? Have you embraced the still, small, voice that says "Be still, and know that I am God?"

My friends, in a time of total chaos and upheaval...our God stands ready, holding a rudder to guide your ship through this storm your waging through.

I know these posts are slightly repetitive, but some truths just need a new perspective every once in a while. As this semester and even the year itself come to a close...remember where your strength lies. Remember that you don't fight your battles alone as long as you call on the name of Jesus Christ.

If you don't call on that Holy name, we need to talk. That's a whole 'nother conversation, buster.

Stay strong, my friends. Let's finish this race well and through this struggle shows those around us how this hope we cling to gets lived out. Let's use these trials as an opportunity to minister to a lost and dying world and be prognosticators of His grace. (word points...)

Be blessed...

These are a few...

Sitting, hoping, wanting, waiting, believing, achieving, thinking, sinking, wishing, trusting, needing, pleading, standing, battling, focusing, growing, maturing, becoming, developing, inspiring, evoking, prevoking, invoking, loving, caring, sharing, listening, supporting, teaching, preaching, ministering, writing, singing, playing, reading, seeing, knowing...TRUTH.

Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, chilvary, moderation, passion, fervor, stubbornness, dependability, steadfastness, strength, excitement, curiosity, abundance, serenity, adventure, chemistry, butterflies, knowledge, wisdom, assurance, revelation, excellence...LIFE.


For all this and more, God is good.

Life.................................what a ride. :D

Salt and light...

It's Thanksgiving day. It's the official beginning of the "holiday season". I can't think of a more appropriate time to blog about all the people and things that I'm thankful for right now. If you're not specifically mentioned in here, it doesn't mean that I'm not thankful for you. It just means I'm tired and not thinking clearly. Here's to you...

Thanks to God, first, last and always for being the Rock that He is, and for being the giver of all good things.

Thanks to Jesus, for giving us the ultimate gift, and the hope and purpose that goes with it.

Thanks to my parents for giving me life, and teaching me to follow Christ faithfully.

Thanks to my Dad, specifically, for being an awesome example of what a godly father and husband looks like.

Thanks to my brother, Erick, for being the only real brother I'll ever have. Fraternal ties are one thing, but blood and family runs thicker than all else.

Thanks to Bruce Runnels, Lance Burch, Rusty Manning, John Greene, Jim Dishman, Kerwin Smith, Mike Stephenson and Karl Smithhart, for modeling godly manhood and helping shape my first 18 years.

Thanks to Ryan Ferden, for being my best friend and motivator for more years than I can count.

Thanks to the Wright Brothers, for making flight a reality and giving a young boy reason to dream big dreams.

Thanks to Coach Davis, for giving a stubborn young man a chance to play the game he loves.

Thanks to Melissa Magnani, for giving me my first look at romantic infatuation, and for putting up with more from me than I ever deserved.

Thanks to Nyc Moy, for being one of the biggest influences on my life to this point; for not letting go of me and dragging me into BYX; for putting up with my immaturity the whole first 18 months you knew me; for demanding that I interview with Pine Cove; for being my brother, seriously; for being man enough to tell another dude, "I love you."; for being my trusted advisor, confidant and accountability partner; for being a partner in ministry (past, present and future).

Thanks to Darren Stewart, for being the first non-blood roommate I've ever had; for showing mercy and grace as we grew up together; for being a loyal friend through more trials than I can count.

Thanks to "Big Tim" Mabry, for being a brother in the truest sense of the word; for being one of the strongest and funniest people I know; for popping my cigar cherry.

Thanks to Katie Craycroft, for introducing me to what an absolutely broken heart feels like; teaching me some of the hardest lessons I've ever learned; for forcing me to trust God and submit.

Thanks to Pine Cove Christian Camps and the myriad of people there that changed my life forever. I've grown more in Christ and as a man there than I have anywhere else.

Thanks to Melissa Blackie, for giving me an excuse to go to Colorado; for teaching me to listen; for helping me learn when God is demanding action.

Thanks to all the guys in BYX, every last one of you, for living out the fellowship and accountability we speak about; for being iron that sharpens iron; for extending me grace and mercy during this last year that I've called the shots; for being solid examples of college men living with purpose and a higher calling.

Thanks to Bethann Werblo, for being who you are, unashamedly; for being consistently honest with me, even when it's not easy; for having a tender heart and potential in this life that few people understand; for being one of my best friends.

Thanks to Katey Thies, for being one of BYX's strongest supporters; for taking on life's challenge with grace and elegance; for being kind of a big deal; for being too big for any mountain ;).

Thanks to Zak Lampman, for being my second little brother; for helping me understand that age has nothing to do with wisdom; for leading the Psi Class to greatness; for continuing the tradition of excellence and lead BYX into the future.

Thanks to Megan Strout, for helping me understand that I had it wrong all along; for being one of the best listeners I know; for being completely original and refreshing; for pushing for my very best and having an idea for every situation; for shaking up my perspective and forcing me to re-assess my definitions; for putting God first and being a captivating example of godly womanhood.

Thanks to the pledges of the Omega class and their president, Tony Hensdill, for successfully kidnapping me (3 minutes into the game) and demanding I step it up as their leader; for holding me to a higher standard and demanding excellence from me.

Thanks to you, for reading this blog; for allowing God to use me to impact your life; for telling me how my words have done you good; for blessing me with your support and encouragement.

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Now for some lighter fare...

Thanks to steak, for being so delicious.

Thanks to basketball, for being so much fun; for teaching me what real competition looks like; for being my sanctuary when I need some quality alone time.

Thanks to hot tubs, for relaxing me and making for a great addition and social attraction in my backyard.

Thanks to cigars, hookah, pipes, etc., for being fun to smoke; for causing unceasing laughter and great memories with brothers.

Thanks to organic chemistry, for whipping my tail this semester; for teaching me that not everything in school comes easy; for ticking me off and making me buckle down and finish strong.

Thanks to the Air Force and the rest of our armed forces, for defending freedom and giving their lives so you and I are safe to enjoy ours; for giving me a chance to serve my country and wear the best looking uniform on planet Earth.

Thanks to sweat, for feeling so good on my skin after a hard workout, or just plain old work.

Thanks to the internet and technology, for being amazing and blowing my mind on a daily basis.

Thanks to good books, poetry, the theater and ballet, and live music, for being the zest in an otherwise bland culture.

Thanks to music and my guitar, for letting me worship my God in song; for letting me feel like a rockstar, 5 minutes at a time.

Thanks to all the things and people I can't think of right now. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.






Be blessed, my friends. Until next time...

Motivation

"WHY?"

It's not just the question most commonly asked by every toddler on Earth, it's a fundamental question of human existence. It's the "why" that drives us, the "why" that motivates us.

If you have answered your "why" then you will likely find the rigors of life far easier to deal with. Any task or trial becomes more bearable when we genuinely grasp the reason for our struggles.

Do you have a higher calling or are you just living day to day, trying to survive? On the eve of a day when we as a nation stop and give thanks for the infinite blessings of our Creator, are you able to give thanks with an honest heart? Do you harbor resentment at the trial, the world around you, even God Himself?

My friends, our Father has called to an abundant life; a life filled with purpose. A life with the "why" set in stone and chiseled into a plaque on the wall. He has called us to a submitted life, where the "why" is left in the hands of an omnipotent, omnipresent, infinitely loving and powerful God who mapped each of our lives before the first star was set in the night sky.

1 Cor. 10:31 - So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.

Prov. 3:5-6 - 5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.


I will sleep well tonight, knowing that my "why" is secure. This is not meant in any way to boast of my accomplishments or anything my body or mind can perform. This is yet another feather in the cap of the King of Kings who does all things well. All glory, honor, praise and power belong only to Him. He is the giver of all good things and right now I'm humbled to even be allowed to speak of Him.

Tomorrow, give thanks to our God for His infinite blessings. Give Him your "why" and let Him place it in safe keeping.

Be blessed...

Scared for Lady Liberty

I can't remember the last time I couldn't support any presidential candidate with a clear conscience. I'm not a fervent supporter of any major political party...even though I consistently vote conservatively.

I'm completely uneasy about the upcoming presidential race. The democrats have a whole mess of people trying to keep Hilary from running away with the nomination...but the only one of them who has a realistic shot scares me even more than Hilary.

That, on the far left, is Senator Barack Obama. He's standing with other leading democrats, while they are reciting the pledge of allegiance. You'll notice that he's not saluting the flag and that his lips aren't moving. In fact, he looks completely disinterested in the entire event.

Don't mistake this note as a Barack bashing session. The problems go far deeper than that. I normally vote republican, but even they aren't offering a candidate that I believe Jesus would vote for if He was walking the streets of Washington D.C. come November 4th, 2008. The Republican front-runner, Rudy Giuliani, scares me almost as much as any democrat on the campaign trail. Giuliani supports abortion, gay marriage and the enlargement of the bureaucracy and socialist programs. I am vehemently opposed to all 3 of those things.

Our judicial system is completely beyond repair at this point. The onslaught of radically progressive judges taking excessive interpretive freedom with the laws this country are founded on has gotten out of control. The way things are set up right now, there is no one who can stop them. Even the Supreme Court, the supposed ultimate authority on law and justice, has essentially washed their hands of these progressive judges and have refused to even hear numerous cases that were in desperate need of overturning. Sad day.

God is sovereign and I know that His will be done in America and everywhere else. That being said, I am genuinely scared that we as a country are digging our own graves. We have told God to screw off one too many times. I fear that if we as a Christian subculture don't take decisive action to make our voices heard and our opinions accounted for, we will be silenced by the majority.

"Evil flourishes when good men (and women) do nothing."

I guess the point is, pray for America, pray for our leaders and representatives in Austin and in Washington. I don't know about you, but I have failed them miserably in that regard. There are solid, God-fearing public servants working hard to do God's will for this country. We have congressmen and representatives for a reason.

When was the last time you voiced your opinion about anything to your congressmen or representative?


You may have heard all this before, but hopefully you might be spurred on to consider these issues in your thoughts, your prayers and your actions. Happy Thanksgiving, my friends.

Be blessed...

A simple request

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32 NIV)

Fellowship without forgiveness is impossible.

Apparently, I have not been nearly as Christ-like to everyone as I thought I was. I know full well that rumors spread faster than the flu and that I seriously should not it personally when I hear that so and so thinks I'm a jerk for some reason. That being said, I need to offer an open and blank check apology to anyone who knows who James Jenkins is. I also need to humbly ask for your forgiveness. This semester has been the hardest of my college career. I have said and done things that were flippant, sarcastic, hurtful and rude. If I have said or done anything to hurt, anger or offend you in recent times...please accept this note as a small token of sincere regret and desire to make things right between us.

There's no way I could individually seek out each person who might potentially be upset with me. Please consider this note as an olive branch and invitation to voice your problem, concern, etc. with me. I wholly promise to receive your words with as humble and contrite an attitude as possible.

I carry the name and the reputation of my family, my fraternity and, most importantly, my Savior. Please don't allow me to tarnish His good name in your eyes. If you have any problems with me at all, let's settle it now. My email is: checkyourwallet@hotmail.com and you know where my facebook is. Thanks.

Be blessed...

A hearty salute

Thanks Megan, I needed that.

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Here's to the crazy ones.



The misfits.

The rebels.

The troublemakers.

The round pegs in the square holes.



The ones who see things differently.

They're not fond of rules.

And they have no respect for the status quo.



You can praise them, disagree with them, quote them,

disbelieve them, glorify or vilify them.

About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.

Because they change things.



They invent. They imagine. They heal.

They explore. They create. They inspire.

They push the human race forward.



Maybe they have to be crazy.

How else can you stare at an empty canvas and see a work of art?
Or sit in silence and hear a song that's never been written?
Or gaze at a red planet and see a laboratory on wheels?

We make tools for these kinds of people.

While some see them as the crazy ones,
we see genius.



Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Clarity comes at 3am

I don't know what it is about the wee hours of the morning to bring life's intangibles into such great a focus. Perhaps God honors the undivided attention that night affords our efforts to seek Him out.

Standing behind a pulpit has only served to let me know that I'm meant to stand behind a pulpit. Not as a shepherd watching over a flock, but as one speaking the truth to desperate ears. Perhaps not in a church, but in an arena where the trappings of organized religion cease to be a hindrance to the work of the Holy Spirit. Only time will tell how and when and where this calling is realized.

It soothes my soul beyond the description of words to know that, even through all the uncertainty and upheaval, His plan still remains untarnished. Through all the anxiety, frustration, fear, anger, sleepless nights and unproductive days, I am still resting safely in the palm of His almighty hand. My seemingly limitless capacity to fail is eternally overshadowed by the infinite grace and mercy of the God I so enthusiastically serve.

I don't see how anyone who doesn't know Christ survives nights like this.

Clarity comes at 3am.

my thoughts: unedited, uncensored, uncut

I am scared.

This whole "what you choose to do right now will completely change the course of the rest of your life" thing is a lot to swallow. I know that God is completely in control and I'm not worried about whether or not my Savior will come through for me in the end. Jer. 29:11 removes all doubt of what God has in store. However, action is still required. Abraham couldn't just sit there and receive the land God had promised him, he had to get up and move.

I will not jump without somewhere to land. Period. Stop. All that does is show immaturity, impatience and a lack of trust in the Almighty. There's much more to life than money.

Money is only a means of providing for my future family and enjoying some amenities life has to offer. I couldn't possibly care less about being rich. No amount of money could ever buy significance or satisfaction. No amount of money could ever purchase a healthy, God-honoring marriage or children with a fervent and passionate zeal to follow Christ. Those two things are infinitely more important to me than my career. I believe whole-heartedly that when you take a spouse, they become your partner in ministry. If and when God blesses you with children, those children become an extremely important focus of your ministry.

All that being said, I'm at a crossroads in my life. I've never encountered real defeat. I've never failed to meet a goal that received my full attention. These next few weeks will determine the direction my life will veer in the years to come.

Whether it's continuing to strive for medical school or finding God's home for me somewhere else...I'd greatly appreciate your prayers. Please pray for humility, courage, wisdom, discernment, supernatural revelation of God's sovereign will for my career path, etc.


Thank you in advance.

Be blessed, my friends...