A blog for a comment

My friends, we are only as complicated as we make ourselves out to be. Pride and pretense have taken the place of genuine friendship and transparency. We all desperately want to find true love and acceptance in this world, but we are so rapt with fear and doubt brought on by our upbringing and our parent's fear and doubt and their parent's...well, you get the idea.

Society lies to us and we just take it. Society gives men the foolish and lazy idea to not be men, to not stand up and fill our role. Somewhere along the line we learned that taking the easy way out came with little consequence...or so it seems. It absolutely floors me to see how completely passive my gender can be. Don't get me wrong, I'm just as guilty more times than not...but this is my blog, so I get to think out loud for right now.

A personal example:

I spent some of this afternoon thinking about a set of events that has occurred in my life since this semester began in the middle of January. The past few weeks, I've been spending some quality with a pretty awesome lady friend of mine...known the gal for about 15 years. I don't really know what was different now, but something just clicked and I took a step that hopefully every single man will take at some point, I initiated contact. I asked her out for some coffee, and thankfully she accepted. Conversation flowed effortlessly and coffee went down as a success in my book. Another week went by and more time was spent with her, just little stuff...some studying here, an anti-superbowl party there, just some relaxed, fun stuff. I am starting to feel like I have a good feel for who she is, we are beginning to form the bonds of a true friendship. There is chemistry and some flirting back and forth, but it's all good. Another "coffee date" for lack of a better term, a movie night, and some bowling. All is well, right? Wrong.

That's right about the time when my gender, my environment and my society caught up to me and popped some stupid pills down my throat. I committed the same cardinal sin that almost every man commits sooner or later and it makes women want to pull their hair out. I over-complicated the whole ball of wax. Men have been doing it for years. (I can't speak for women, for obvious reasons, so I hope you'll forgive me.) I started thinking too much and got frustrated with myself, I started to playback all the stuff I'd said and done in the last 3 weeks and started picking out everything that I thought went "wrong"...Men do this all the time. Especially with women. Especially when a gem crosses our path and we recognize how important our actions, words and attitudes are. We clam up and stop listening to our source of truth and strength. I know I did.

Big mistake. I wasn't being a man. I certainly wasn't operating in the same God-given confidence that I spend most of my days residing inside. Normally, I am a very strong person...it's not because I myself possess any strength of any kind. Quite to the contrary. I am strong because I realize that I am supremely weak, and I defer all things possible to the One who possesses infinite amounts of all good things.

The complete lack of confidence, the fear and doubt that I experienced Friday was a result of attempting to operate under my own strength for a brief moment. I wasn't even myself anymore. Thankfully, the poor lass on the other end of the phone had the good sense to tell me to stop talking. I made things too complicated. You have very likely done the very same thing.

So guys, how do we stop this from happening? How do we avoid embarrassing, emasculating actions that make us feel weak and inadequate? How do we kick that sick feeling in our stomach that tells us we aren't good enough? How do we accurately represent ourselves to the Godly women in this world who are just looking for God's men to stand up? Cling to the only real strength in this world. Find your confidence and your identity in the One who gave you that Y chromosome. You are nothing, I am nothing. When I look in the mirror, if all I see is me...all I see is failure and inadequacy. You don't want that anymore than I do.

God's man is ready for anything. He's got his armor (Eph. 6) on and he is good to go. You want to kick that feeling that you can't make it, that you can't win the maiden and you can't slay the dragon...? Pick up your Sword (The Word of God) and let's go un-complicate some things.

Blessings...

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P.S. - Let me just say that pursuing personal development for any sake other than the quest for holiness and the glory of Almighty God is a mistake. Trying to be more like Jesus to win the girl is a dangerous card to play. Check yourself. Get in the Word every day. Be a man.

P.P.S. - To the ladies: Please demand that we act like men. So many of you refer to us as "boys"...but I don't want to be called a boy any more than the next guy. If you're tired of dealing with boys, then raise your standards. Wait for the men. The man worth having is most definitely worth waiting for. However, when you've got a keeper, don't be afraid to make a move! When a keeper sticks his neck out there to come after you, don't let him draw back a nub.


Just saying...

I'm trying to not roll my eyes...

Ok, sometimes I am really confused and frustrated by things that are outside of my control. This is one of those times. I just got finished reading an article on www.boundless.org on some stuff about relationships and marriage. It's mostly talking about how in our generation, people are hitting puberty faster than ever, but getting married later in life than ever before...and the kind of effect that this is having on the amount of pre-marital sex that is happening in the church now.

There's a big gap in the middle called adolescence...I'm pretty sure it's a 20th-century American creation. You've got a bunch of pseudo-adults running around wanting the privileges of adulthood while still living in Mom's house or on Mom's dollar. Guys aren't preparing themselves for marriage, fatherhood and adult life and no one in society is forcing them. I want to throw up my hands and slap some faces...

I really don't understand why my gender insists on living in the middle for so long. Maybe it's cause I hit the magic 25 mark and now I'm really starting to see the brevity of life, or maybe it's because it really is a problem.

I'm living life on purpose now, have been for a while. I'm not going out and looking for a wife, but I'm preparing myself to be the kind of man my future wife wants to marry. I love kids! I am looking forward with great anticipation for fatherhood someday. Obviously, there are many steps and phases of life between now and then, but when that day comes I will welcome it with open arms. So many guys I know are just not interested in even talking about that, and I don't understand why.

I have a lady friend who is convinced that men are more complicated than women. I've been trying to argue with her and explain my case, but the more I think about it, the more I agree with her. At least women carry their complications around in their purse and on their face. Men are pretty sneaky with our complications. You'll never see them until it counts, then they spring out like the Jack-in-the-box.

So what does all this mean? Is there something we as a Christian sub-culture can do to equip our young men to be intentional, to be consciously developing characteristics of biblical manhood, and to be preparing themselves to lead a wife and family someday soon? I think the answer is that those of us who are a bit older need to lead by example, and also take the effort to disciple those a bit behind us on life's journey. Certainly none of us are perfect, but living every day life for God's glory and purpose is easier if you're not alone. Just a thought...

Most of this post is just me thinking through my fingers and onto my computer screen, so I'm not sure if I can tie this up and put a bow on it. Let's just say that I am definitely looking forward to the post-college phases of life and every single step along the way.

The real challenge is finding the satisfaction and joy in the seconds, hours, days and months between now and then. I love a good challenge... ;-)

Blessings...

101 Days and Counting Down...

This is a strange place in life. It's like trying to drink from a fire hydrant. You try to focus and take in and fully grasp all that you can, but so much is happening that you feel like you're a spectator in your own life. Spring of senior year feels completely different...and for sentimental old farts like me it's particularly poignant. Everything is the last something.

I will (hopefully) graduate from Stephen F. on May 16th, 101 days from today. I'm still in the process of narrowing down exactly what and where God wants me after that. I've spent the last 18 years of my life being a full-time student, and now that is all about to change. There's a very good chance I'll be going back for post-grad work, but we all know that's a whole different ballgame.

Later on this semester, I will sit down and write out my "autobiography of the college years" or whatever you want to call it. I'll save most of the thoughts for then. Suffice it to say that college has turned out like most other things in life usually do: just as you finally start to get it all figured out and get to fully enjoy it, it's over.

I'm going to Carpe Diem like a madman the next 101 days. For those of you whose college shelf life is longer than mine, consider yourself blessed. Make the most of it, because once you get to spring of your senior year you don't get to play the ostrich with your head in the dirt any longer.

Work hard.
Play hard.
Love hard.
Pray hard.
LIVE HARD.

On The Eve of History

Tomorrow morning, in Washington, D.C., America will swear in Barack Hussein Obama as the 44th President of the United States of America. Friends, regardless of your political opinions, tomorrow we will witness a very pleasant and positive kind of history in the making. A black man will live in the White House, not as a slave as in times past, but as the resident for the 4 (or potentially 8) years. Incredible.

I didn't vote for the man, for many reasons that don't matter right now. That being said, I am very proud to be an American right now, even more so than normal. I just want to stand and cheer for America as a whole, that we have finally leveled the playing field enough that this is even possible.

The picture to the left here is of President-Elect Obama standing in front of the Lincoln Memorial, paying homage to a man who literally gave his life for the cause of equality in America. I can only the imagine the conversation that took place between President-to-be and that large chunk of marble. Tomorrow's events couldn't have been anything more than a distant dream in Lincoln's day. He would undoubtably be smiling were he breathing today.

Let tomorrow serve as a reminder and as evidence to every person everywhere who thinks that they can't accomplish something simply because of the color of their skin or where they came from. This abolishes every possible excuse or complaint. To every welfare mooch swinging on a front porch today, here's your wake-up call. If you don't make something of your life, don't blame America, or us. Point your finger in the mirror, because you're the only one to blame. After tomorrow, no more complaining that you didn't get a fair shot. Mr Obama got to where he is through hard work, eloquent speech and the blessings of Almighty God. You can do the same. We don't owe you anything, stop asking for a hand-out and look for a hand-up. If you don't think it's possible, just go ask soon to be President Barack Obama.

Blessings...

Think

Why are you breathing right now? Is there a reason that blood is flowing through your veins at this moment?

What is your purpose? Why are you here?

You have 168 hours to live next week. That's the same number of hours that George Washington, Billy Graham, Albert Einstein, Michael Jordan and Mother Theresa had in their weeks. What are you going to do with your next week?

Does this scenario sound like fun to you? : Born, grow up, have some fun, spend your time looking for "fun" and trying to make money, "win" someone to marry, struggle for stuff and things for 40 or 50 years, have some kids, just "try to do your best" and then some day assume room temperature and join humanity past on the other side of eternity's door?

The one thing that scares me most in all of life is insignificance.

Any problems that come along, whether financial, relational, physical, even death. They can all be dealt with in due time. Our God has been and will always be completely faithful to see us through trials under His provision. That will never change (Deut. 31:8 "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.") & Joshua 1:5 "I will never leave you or forsake you".

You and I have a choice every day, hour, minute and second we're given. The question is not whether you are sinning or trying to live righteously, that's the easy part. The question is, are you daily seeking God's face and His will for not just your life, but your day? Many days I fail miserably. That doesn't stop me from getting up the next morning and starting off right.

A wise man once said, "the bad is not the enemy of the best, it is the good." I believe the God that called the men and women of the Bible to genuine greatness, the God who created you and I...that same God has a vision for your day. Today! Right now! How exciting...

Please let this little ramble encourage you. There is nothing aimless about your days. Don't allow insignificance to claim one single moment of your life. Get out there and be a blessing to those who cross your path. Make them laugh, give them your ear, pray for them, be the godly man/woman you and I are called to be.

The world doesn't need any more lone ranger Christians. We are in this together. Be blessed today...

The Fairwell Victory Tour

Well, this is it. After all the up and downs, career plans failing, and changing and failing again...it is inevitable. I can't avoid it any longer. They are forcing me out.

4 months from today, I will be a college graduate. I will save the emotional re-cap and closing thoughts for another day. This is just the formal declaration of the spring semester being officially dubbed the "Farewell Victory Tour: 2009".

Everything between here and graduation is the "last ______". I intend to make the most of the next 120ish days.

Cheers...

Gaza Strip Incident

Today marks one full week of a full-scale Israeli air assault on the Gaza Strip. In case you're not familiar with the events currently happening, you can click here, here or here. I thought it was worthy of writing a short blip of my thoughts on the subject.

First off, I should state that I'm not the least bit objective in this matter and that I fully support Israel on a fundamental and idealogical level. I find it laughable how most the Middle East is trying to make this whole incident look like unwarranted Israeli aggression when it's Hamas terrorists who are responsible for starting the whole thing.

I applaud Israel for showing as much patience as they have in the previous months. I guarantee if you shot rockets into my backyard it wouldn't take me a day to respond with every bit of force available to me. Hamas should be glad that Israel hasn't done more in response.

Hamas continues to issue threats and warnings even as they are currently 95% without power and almost completely without any basic utilities functioning. It just goes to show again the blind, unfounded arrogance of the modern terrorist. Do they just not realize that most of their land has been reduced to rubble in the last week?

Even more amusing is that the leader of Hamas, Khaled Meshaal, is exiled in Syria...yet he keeps running his mouth, declaring a "day of wrath" against Israel for the attacks. What are they going to do, throw more rocks at Israeli tanks as they roll past?

It really is a shame that there has to be so much violence and hate in the region. Unfortunately, we all know that there will never be lasting peace in the region. The fact that some limp-wristed pacafists in the UN are calling for a cease fire...again...is definitely worth a sigh and a good roll of the eyes. Terrorist cowards, which is all Hamas is, will never stop being terrorist cowards. They are raised on a doctrine of hate and violence. They are simple-minded creatures who only know how be angry and blow things up. Trying to reason or negotiate with them is pointless. They will only do what Hamas did during the last cease-fire (which lasted about 6 months), stockpile weapons and supplies in preparation for the next time the little rats decide to crawl out of their holes and blindly fire their crude, homemade weapons into Israel.

Hamas should be glad that I don't have any say in Israel's strategy. Were it up to me, I would have brought troops and tanks into Gaza long ago, swept the area completely clean and executed every member of Hamas as the terrorists that they are. It's a real shame that politics get in the way of justice and the safety of innocent civilians.

At a time like this, it is important to remember the innocents on either side of the offensive. Allowing 270 Palestinian civilians who hold international passports to leave Gaza was a classy move on Israel's part. I hope and pray that the offensive will be successful and that Hamas will be fully neutralized.

Pray for safety and protection for the civilians in Gaza, and for the armies of Israel as they deal with the terrorists swiftly and forcefully...